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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331346">What Frees Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/deli'>deli (deliciousirony)</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvictaAnimi/pseuds/InvictaAnimi'>InvictaAnimi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Angel Sex, Astral Projection, Blow Jobs, DCRB, DCRB 2020, Dimension Travel, Engineer Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Psychic Bond, Scientist Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>33,747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deliciousirony/pseuds/deli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvictaAnimi/pseuds/InvictaAnimi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It might seem ludicrous for a propulsion engineer to go seeking for the next big technology idea in the Louisiana bayou, but Dean Winchester has never done things the "normal" way. When he hears that people have been known to disappear around an ancient angel statue, he can't wait to investigate. Despite the heat, mosquitoes, and alligators, Dean is determined to solve the mystery behind the angel.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dean/Cas Reverse Bang 2020, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. On the Bayou</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This art and story collaboration has been created for the Dean/Cas Reverse Bang (DCRB). It wouldn't have been possible without the diligent work of the DCRB moderators: a_diamond, superhoney, and aceiree. Thank you so much for offering this brilliant challenge to our fandom.</p><p>Author's Note: The gorgeous art is done by Deli (DeliciousIrony), who is an amazing artist. When I first saw the angel statue, I was hooked. Thank you for your creativity and the inspiration for this story. Your 'very bright' version of the alternate dimension is just as cool and funky as the swamp. Love them both!</p><p>To my dear friend, GuardianKnight, thank you for the scientific assistance, naming help, and all around patience. You've talked me off a ledge again.</p><p>Thank you also to my wonderful beta, Hectatess. You're amazing, Mama!</p><p>Artist's Note: I was a bit worried that the prompt might be a bit too "out there", given that I had a swamp, a massive statue, AND a scifi door 😅 I was so happy when angelaland was excited about it! Plotting this fic was such a lot of fun and I thoroughly enjoyed the process - angelaland turned our outline into an amazing fic and I can't wait to hear what you all think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry</p><p>The bubbling motor of the john boat pushes Dean through the massive Cypress forest in the bayou of Southern Louisiana. This is the fourth trip he’s made today, so he’s relying less and less on his GPS, and more on the subtle landmarks that guide him to his temporary home. The next turn is marked by a fallen log, suspended at an angle by its neighbors, which he has to duck under in order to make it to the last leg of his journey.</p><p>Dusk is approaching, so he needs to get there soon. He can’t set the generator up in the dark, and he doesn’t think it would be smart to try to navigate the three mile trek back through the swamp at night. He might have a lantern, but night time is for the predators, and out here he is prey.</p><p>He knows he’s close because he has his very own alligator escort for the final 200 meters. This same gator has followed him for each and every trip, and Dean isn’t sure if he’s curious, or he’s decided that he’s found an easy meal. Any way you slice it, the huge reptile unnerves him. He’s sure that they can sense fear, though, so he tries to ignore the bulging eyes that trail behind him.</p><p>When Benny had brought him out here to see the statue from his childhood ghost stories, he’d promised Dean that the gators wouldn’t bother him if he left them alone. While Dean was busy hyperventilating when the first one they got close to hissed at them, Benny just scoffed and told it to shut the hell up. He’s not so sure that these Louisiana boys aren’t as crazy as they are big.</p><p>Dean has lived in Lawrence, Kansas his whole life. He went to KU on a full scholarship for aerospace engineering and then joined the faculty as soon as he finished his Ph.D. Once he had some decent projects under his belt, he joined his family company, Winchester Aerospace. His grandfather and father have been running the company since the late ‘60’s, and now he and his little brother, Sam, have joined the ranks. Although, after their latest disagreement which led to the impromptu vacation to visit Benny, his college roommate, he isn’t sure that he wants to continue working there.</p><p>Dean has always been a dreamer, especially when it comes to engines. He started taking them apart and rebuilding them before he could grow facial hair. While all of his colleagues are trying to make the same old gas engines more robust and energy efficient, Dean is looking for the next technology. He’s researched and worked on teams building pure hydrogen systems as well as a number of bizarre options. In fact, he ran his last pickup truck on used oil from fast food restaurants. It worked, but driving around campus reeking of French fries did not really do anything good for his reputation.</p><p>As the late afternoon light filters through the cypress leaves, he can see the dappled light gracing the reason for his sabbatical to the bayou. A giant statue of an angel sits almost waist deep in the brackish water. It’s obviously been there for ages, as the bayou has been trying to reclaim it. The statue is covered in air plants and lichens, while Spanish moss drapes from its outstretched arm and wings. The entire surface is weathered by the humid environment and its inhabitants. Dean is fairly certain that under the water, the statue is in very poor repair. This morning, he noticed a crawfish scuttling into its burrow in the base.</p><p>Every time Dean has approached the statue, he’s been just as awestruck as the very first time. It towers over him even as a great deal of its height is wedged into the muck under the water. The look of agony on the face is unique and heartbreaking. He can’t imagine why an artist would choose to render such a painful expression on an otherwise beautiful creature. There is a palpable energy coming from it, a hum that buzzes under Dean’s skin. Benny hadn’t felt that energy when he brought Dean here. He’d clearly been uneasy around the statue all the same, though. It had surprised Dean, especially after his friend’s less than concerned reaction to the very live gator.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Dean keeps his distance from the stony angel; tying his low, little boat to the porch railing of the ancient fishing shack nearby. He couldn’t believe his luck when he’d checked on the ownership of the tiny building. The owners were long dead and no one else had bothered to claim it. Forfeited property goes to the county, and it was the work of an afternoon to contact the right person in the right office. Now, Dean Winchester is the proud owner of a barely livable shack in LaFourche Parish.</p><p>The floor is rotting out, there isn’t any electricity, and there are knot holes in the walls letting the humid air, spiders, and all manner of bugs into his new home. Dean hauls himself out of the boat and onto the porch. He’s happy the shack is standing on stilts, but it’s a bitch to get in and out of. It looks like there might have been a ladder at one time, but it’s eroded away.</p><p>His first task is to set up a pulley system from the materials he brought earlier. There’s no way he’ll be able to get the heavy generator out of the boat otherwise. The power tools he uses capture the interest of the intrepid gator, and he comes uncomfortably close to check out what Dean is up to.</p><p>“Hey there, chief. You and me are neighbors now. So, how about you keep that jaw shut tight and I think we’ll get along just fine.”</p><p>The gator blinks, but Dean gets no further response. Not that he expected one from the giant reptile, but he was hoping for some type of acknowledgment. Dean goes back to creating the framework for the pulleys, but this time with his back to the building instead of the water. He doesn’t want to take his eyes off his new sidekick, even for a second.</p><p>Wrestling the generator onto the back side of the shack is a struggle, but it’s not an optional piece of equipment. Dean needs it if he is going to bring any of his lab equipment and electronics out here. It would be infinitely easier if he could haul the statue back to his lab in Kansas, but there’s no way that’s going to happen.</p><p>This statue is more than just stone. It could potentially hold the secrets to teleportation or possibly time travel. Even though he’s more open to what’s out there in the universe than most scientists and engineers, he even had trouble believing it until he saw it for himself.</p><p>Dean has always loved reading about the occult, so it was no surprise that when his two passions collided, he absorbed every story and article he could find. Crop circles, stone circles, pyramids, bizarre statues in remote places; all of these collections were thought to be ancient ways of traveling. Of course, none of them still worked, but there were enough cases of the unexplained structures to make him wonder. These places always seem to boast of disappearances and magic. Dean doesn’t believe in magic, but he does believe that there are some things about the physical world that humans just can’t comprehend. Yet.</p><p>Over a few too many beers at Benny’s favorite local bar, they had caught up on their lives since graduation. Of course they are Instagram friends, so they have kept up with their mundane, everyday lives. Dean is a firm believer that it takes being face to face with a friend to get into the epiphanies and existential truths that are changing their paths in life. Those kinds of talks are rare and priceless, and it was during one of these heart to hearts that Benny gave Dean the first shred of hope that he might just find an entirely new type of transport.</p><p>As a kid, going out in the bayou to see the creepy angel was a rite of passage for all young boys. You couldn’t call yourself a man until you’d done it at least once. They never tried to touch it because being in its presence was frightening enough. Besides, there were old stories about people touching the statue and going missing. None of them wanted to end up as a ghost story for the next generation of boys. Dean had been adamant that Benny bring him out to see it the very next day.</p><p>His friend groused all the way out to the boat, and all the way through the swamp, but he was a good enough friend to bring Dean anyway. Seeing the statue lit something within Dean, and he knew, with absolute and unrelenting certainty that he was staring at the most important crossroads in his life.</p><p>Benny wouldn’t get close enough to the angel for Dean’s taste, but he had to know if he was on the right track. Looking around in the bottom of the fishing boat, Dean grabbed a beer bottle.</p><p>“Hey now, you can’t be hurling glass outta the boat, Dean. That ain’t cool.”</p><p>Dean’s grin didn’t make any sense to his old friend. “Just watch, Benny.”</p><p>With careful aim, Dean tossed the bottle so it couldn’t help but hit the statue. Instead of shattering like they both expected, it completely disappeared. Not a sound gave them any idea of where it went. They both stared with incomprehension before Benny finally voiced what they were both thinking. “What the fuck?”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Cranking up the generator gives Dean a sense of satisfaction that he hasn’t felt in ages. He spends most of his days in an office rather than a lab or garage now, so the only work his hands get is typing. Getting dirty and using his hands to solve problems are the primary reasons that Dean has forgone several promotions. He doesn’t want to be management, no matter how adamantly his father insists. In fact, this is the exact topic that started the fight that brought him here.</p><p>“It’s a family company, Dean. I don’t want to have to hire a Vice President from the outside. I’ve been grooming you to take over since you were a kid.”</p><p>“Dad, I appreciate it, but I don’t want to wear a suit to work. I don’t want to sit behind a desk.”</p><p>Just like always, it escalates from a simple disagreement to screaming without even meaning to. Dean knows he’s saying the words, but his dad never hears them. When he doesn’t get his way, his father stops trying to resolve the conflict and instead tries to win at all costs.</p><p>“If you follow the path I’ve set for you, you can tinker to your heart’s content on your personal projects.” Dean thinks that John’s volume must be directly related to how much of an idiot he thinks Dean is.</p><p>“When, Dad? When will I have the time? I see the hours you and Granddad work. I lived my childhood thinking that we were the second most important part of your life. I don’t want that for my family.”</p><p>His father’s head is beet red and he looks about five seconds from an aneurysm. “What family, Dean?”</p><p>He felt those words like a gut punch, and it must have shown. His father immediately looked ashamed of himself and dropped his gaze. That was when Dean had stormed off, gotten into his car, and driven all night. For the first ten hours, he didn’t really know where he was heading. When he realized he was almost in Louisiana, the decision was simple.</p><p>Most people wouldn’t take too kindly to friends giving them less than four hours to announce a visit, but like always, Benny was all smiles and welcoming hugs.</p><p>“So, what brings you down to the edges of the country on a Thursday morning?” Benny had finally asked after a day of hard work at his fabrication shop, a delicious dinner of shrimp etouffee, and a few beers out on his porch.</p><p>Dean had hung his head, not wanting to show the pain in his eyes. “Ah, you know. I needed to take Baby out and stretch her legs,” he said with a shrug.</p><p>“Dean, if it’s none of my business, tell me so and I’ll shut up, but please don’t lie to me. We’ve been friends way too long for that.”</p><p>He swallows around an uncomfortable knot of emotion. “Sorry. Dad and I were arguing about moving into management and he said something kind of heartless. It just got under my skin.”</p><p>Benny looks him over and rolls the bottom of the bottle along the table. “I’m guessing it had to do with Devin?”</p><p>Clearing his throat, he nods and looks up at his friend. He lets the entire conversation come out, and watches the familiar protective rage appear on Benny’s face. “How could he be so callous? Does he not know how devastated I was when he left?”</p><p>“Honestly, I think your daddy still hopes that you’ll find a nice girl and settle down. I think he hoped that Devin was a phase.”</p><p>Clearing his lungs with a forceful exhale, Dean shakes his head. “As if it’s something I would choose in my family.”</p><p>Dean can’t stand the pitying look on Benny’s face, so he shakes off the wallowing and gives him an impish grin. “So, tell me about life in the bayou.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p>Dean sets up his little lighting system, turns on his mini refrigerator and the fan by his surprisingly comfortable army cot. He couldn’t have picked a worse time to move out here. August in Louisiana is never fun, but in the swamp without AC? It’s brutal. Dean sweats just sitting still, so after the evening of labor, he’s drenched. Taking one of the remaining water bottles out of the cooler, he chugs it, and says a prayer to the gods of cold water, the most heavenly substance on earth.</p><p>He has already started a list of essential improvements to the shack. He needs to patch any holes the local inhabitants are using to let themselves in and put in an airtight window. He needs a heavy duty water filtration system immediately because he’s not taking a shower in swamp water, and he’s definitely not going to drink it or cook with it. A small air conditioner would make everything so much easier.</p><p>For now, he has some food packed in the refrigerator, a stove that works, marginally, and a bed to lay on. The former inhabitants also left a chair. After a simple meal of canned ravioli and canned vegetables, Dean takes the chair outside on the porch.</p><p>The sounds of the bayou are symphonic. He’s surprised at the layers and complexity of the music. A constant high trill of crickets unceasingly works its magic. In the middle tones, various booming croaks and softer squeaks of frogs take turns in the spotlight. Something works on the low notes, a bizarre sound reminiscent of tumbling dice. Occasionally, an owl will croon softly.</p><p>Less than ten minutes go by before the mosquitoes find him. When they do, it’s like they sounded an alarm. Dozens of them swarm him and manage to bite even while he’s swinging his arms like a windmill. “Son of a bitch!” he yells and retreats inside. Realizing that he’ll have to go back outside to retrieve the chair if he wants to use it, he decides he’d rather let the mosquitoes have it.</p><p>*****</p><p>In the morning, Dean makes passably edible pancakes with a shaker bottle and his last bottle of water. For his first night, he feels pretty good about roughing it. He has been camping a hundred times, but this is different. He’s going to not only be living out here, potentially for months, but working, too.</p><p>He doesn’t even know what equipment he will need because he knows nothing about the statue other than objects disappear when they get too close to it. That’s not a lot to go on, he knows, but where he differs from the rest of his family is that he believes it’s enough.</p><p>He manages to navigate all the way back to the dock behind Benny’s shop without having to rely on GPS, which he counts as another win. If it weren’t for his itchy, irritated bites, he’d feel more confident. He just won’t mention them.</p><p>Of course, that’s the first thing that Benny notices. He picks up Dean’s arm and rotates it back and forth while giving a low whistle. “Looks like you found the wrong kind of swamp angel, brother.”</p><p>Dean yanks his arm away as his friend laughs. “Swamp angel?”</p><p>Benny waves his question away. “It’s an old Cajun name for those mosquitoes that tore into you.”</p><p>“Cute,” Dean rolls his eyes. “So, can you help me locate some of the things on the list?”</p><p>Benny takes the paper and reads over it. “You’re really doing this?”</p><p>Dean scowls and snatches the paper back. “Well, yeah. Why would I buy that fishing shack if I wasn’t going through with it?”</p><p>Benny holds up placating hands. “Alright. I didn’t mean to touch a nerve.”</p><p>Dean crosses his arms. “Speak your mind, Benny.”</p><p>His old friend rubs a thumb over the corner of his mouth while he thinks. “This is all just a little crazy, Dean. I didn’t think my fairy tale was going to keep you here in town. Not for research.”</p><p>Dean leans in to keep his voice low. “You were there. You saw those things disappear. How do you explain that?”</p><p>“I can’t, but do you really think that you can? Do you really believe that something is going to come of this?”</p><p>Dean recognizes the look of concern on Benny’s face all too well. During college, every time that Dean had gone ‘off script’ and followed his instincts, his friend’s wary gaze was his horizon line, keeping him upright. He’d always been the standard by which Dean judged the outrageousness of his behavior.</p><p>He chuckles and shrugs. “I hope so. I mean, that’s why I’m setting up out there. I need to know how that rock disappeared and I need to know where it went.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. That's the Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean spends the next couple of weeks working on the shack that he’s taken to calling a cabin now that it has some truly luxurious amenities. When he installed the filtration system, he had replaced the flooring and upgraded the shower. He called time of death on the ancient stove about a week in, and now has a little convection oven that he can cook real meals in. Tonight, he is going to enjoy his homemade cassoulet out on the porch table he built out of reclaimed wood. </p><p>The fire pit and mosquito netting, Benny’s suggestions, help keep the little swamp angels away while he enjoys the company of the only angel he’s interested in. There’s no entertainment out in this wilderness, so Dean has been checking out and voraciously reading books from the Port Fourchon Library. </p><p>Sitting down with the delicious stew and a cold beer, he clicks on the lantern and digs in. With the first taste, he moans in delight and chuckles. “I could have made a damn good husband. That fucker doesn’t know how badly he screwed up.”</p><p>The joking takes a little of the sting out of the memory, but it’s mostly out of habit and it’s a balm for other people, not for himself. He swallows hard against the thought of his ex and shoves him out of mind. </p><p>Having only the fireflies for company got old fast, so he’s taken to reading out loud after dinner. At least once a night, his neighbor, who Dean’s named Clyde, shows up around the edges of his light source. </p><p>“Well, howdy, Clyde,” Dean calls when he sees the gator’s eyes shine iridescent. “You’re just in time for story hour.”</p><p>Dean is reading Fahrenheit 451 and getting lost in Bradbury’s phenomenal imagery. He feels a certain kinship to Guy Montag, the protagonist who goes to dangerous lengths to seek out truth. </p><p>“Oh, you’re going to love this part, Angel,” Dean calls out into the distance. Shadows hold the statue more firmly than the light, and Dean can just barely separate him from the night.</p><p>He has found himself talking more and more to the statue, as if it might possibly understand him. Dean knows it’s ridiculous. He’s more likely to get a response out of Clyde.</p><p>	“The little mosquito-delicate dancing hum in the air, the electrical murmur of a hidden wasp snug in its special pink warm nest. The music was almost loud enough so he could follow the tune. He felt his smile slide away, melt, fold over, and down on itself like a tallow skin, like the stuff of a fantastic candle burning too long and now collapsing and now blown out. Darkness. He was not happy. He was not happy. He said the words to himself. He recognized this as the true state of affairs. He wore his happiness like a mask and the girl had run off across the lawn with the mask and there was no way of going to knock on her door and ask for it back.”</p><p>“That’s relatable, don’t you think?” Dean asks the angel as he reads it again. </p><p>Is he happy? Or is it just a mask that he wears so no one will recognize how utterly alone and lost he feels? He realizes the futile nature of speaking his thoughts, but out here in the humid beauty, in the cacophony of little creatures vying to be heard, he feels the need to add his own voice. </p><p>“I’m not happy. I’ve been living a life that’s a shell of what I want, but doing this is a start. Coming here, following my heart and listening to my instincts. It’s a damn good step in the right direction. Everyone in my life thinks I’ve gone off the reservation, but I know I’m on to something.”</p><p>Dean tips up the bottle to drain the beer and then stares at the statue in the distance. The erratic flashes of golden pin pricks lend a halo glow to the angel.</p><p>“I’m putting a lot of faith in you, Angel. I need you. I need you to be something extraordinary.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s latest project is collecting samples of the water, moss, and even the silt around the statue. He’s hoping that they will show differences from the samples collected in other parts of the swamp, and that there might be a biological path that he can follow. </p><p>His first thought had been to test whether or not the statue put out any kind of electromagnetic reading. It didn’t. He had then tried a Geiger counter, an infrared sensor, and even a gas chromatograph.Honestly, he wasn’t above using any and all instruments that might give his research any type of direction. Nothing had yielded the slightest reading or abnormality.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind that I’m in your space, Angel,” Dean mutters. He’s tied a rope around his body that is also secured to the porch of his cabin. He doesn’t trust an anchor because he could easily drift right into the statue, and while he wants to know how it makes objects disappear, he doesn’t want to be the guinea pig.</p><p>Looking up into the eyes that look porous with erosion at this distance, Dean smiles sadly. “I’ll bet you were something to behold in your glory days. You’re still fierce and awesome.” </p><p>Dean smirks and looks up again. “I mean awesome as in striking awe in the hearts of men, not the slang.”</p><p>The silent angel doesn’t acknowledge him. </p><p>“I must truly be a sucker for impossible relationships. I move out here and start feeling something for a hunk of stone.”</p><p>Dean tilts his head. “What kind of stone is this anyway? I wish I could get a sample, but I don’t want to end up in Oz.”</p><p>Reeling himself back toward his cabin, he sings a song under his breath. As the days have worn on and he’s run out of chit chat, singing has been a way to fill the quiet. Before this trip, he’d really only sung in the shower. He’s pleasantly content with his singing voice, not that he would ever sing in front of other people. The angel and Clyde don’t complain, though, so he serenades them frequently.</p><p>There’s no cell service out here, but he has added a satellite Internet connection so that he’s able to reach the outside world and use the KU online library for research. Tying up the boat, he uses his newly constructed ladder to carry the samples into his lab. Now that he is keeping electronics and scientific equipment in his cabin, he’s made the interior climate-controlled. He’s blowing through his savings at an alarming rate, but if anything at all comes from this project, it will be worth it.</p><p>Benny had warned him on his last trip into town that his purchases and deliveries had garnered some attention from some less than upstanding locals. He’d suggested keeping a gun and reinforcing the lock on the rickety door. Dean had done one better. He’d installed a high tech metal door with a retina scanner. The alarm system inside would alert him immediately if the windows or door were tampered with, and he’d bolted and locked the generator and filtration system to the cabin. Let those rednecks come after what was his. They’ll be sorry they tried. </p><p>That is, if they could even find it. Benny wouldn’t tell them where he was holed up, so they were more than welcome to canvas the hundreds of thousands of acres of swamp.</p><p>The biological samples are a bust except for one shred of hope, which is one more than he’s gotten from anything he’s tried. The tiny anomaly that he found was that the mosses growing on the angel were much healthier than anything else he’d found. The cell walls were thicker, and the chloroplasts were robust. There weren’t any signs of cell degeneration, either. </p><p>The more he puzzles over what that difference could mean, the more he believes that it could be his first viable clue. After a simple dinner of a burger and homemade fries, Dean brings his new guitar out on the porch with his nightly beer. Well, the guitar is only new to him. He’d found it at a thrift store when he’d been looking for some used dishes. Paper plates were wasteful and it wasn’t like he had curbside trash pickup. Whatever he brought into the bayou had to be hauled back out again.</p><p>Propping his feet up on the table, he picks out a few melodies before settling on an old Eagles song, Seven Bridges Road. He isn’t a fan of the Eagles, but they got that song right. He loves the galloping beat of the guitar and the harmonizing that he can’t manage with a single voice, but he can still hear it in his head. </p><p>He notices the ambient noise settles and quiets as he sings, like the frogs and other creatures are listening to him for a change. Even Clyde makes an appearance, coming much closer than he normally allows.</p><p>His heart swells with joy as he knocks the dust off of this forgotten skill. Expressing himself through music is something he has denied himself for almost a decade, always too busy working towards his goals to mess around with hobbies.</p><p> If nothing else comes of this trip, Dean is still glad that he took this time to focus on something other than work. His life here is simple. He works hard, tries to live in communion with the nature he has encroached upon, and his leisure is spent in much the same ways as his ancestors. Except for the technology, of course. </p><p>Dean ends the song and switches to another in honor of his latest epiphany. Being a simple man is a whole lot more peaceful than he’d ever realized.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>So slowly that no living creature would be able to observe his progress, Castiel shrugs off the sleep of ages. Stretching his mind out to the edges of time and space, he reorients himself. During his slumber, stars have been born and died, and galaxies have formed in far flung areas of the universe. </p><p> By his calculations, he’s been locked in this mineralized hell for over ten thousand years. After the first few excruciating times that the Gorgons used him as a portal, he knew that it would be futile to fight his fate. Instead, he had locked himself away in his mind, shutting out the world around him for millenia.</p><p>He’s pleasantly surprised to find that he isn’t too badly damaged, so he immediately reaches out to his brothers and sisters to discover their fates. He receives only soul-crushing silence. Every other angel that was captured with him is gone. There were hundreds of them scattered over the globe. How can it be that they are all gone? Is he truly the only survivor? </p><p>If he can call this surviving. He’s still encased in stone, which means that none of the other angels ever found a way to reverse the Gorgon curse. </p><p>Or potentially worse, what if they did find a way out of this trap and left him here anyway? No. He might have been rebellious, but his fellow celestial beings didn’t harbor him any ill will. They would have returned for him if they’d been able to. That is the shred of hope he must cling to. </p><p>His chances of ever escaping seem close to nil. He can’t help the urge to move, first flexing his wings and finding them completely immobile. He leaves no muscle group unused in his exploration, screaming in his helpless frustration when he confirms that nothing has changed in his physical state.</p><p>Taking stock of his situation, he looks for the source of the disturbance that caused him to wake. It must have been a mighty occurrence to reach him, so deeply was he enshrouded in the veils of sleep. Did the plates of the earth shift beneath his feet? Did another meteor find itself in the path of this beautiful planet?</p><p>Looking through his marble eyes, Castiel sees that he is now surrounded by water, and an entire forest has grown up around him. Sensing animals of all types in this area is comforting. The earth is still thriving then. Of all the creatures he senses, there is only one within several miles of him intelligent enough to make the little home nearby. A human is in this forest with him, and he is living within sight of Castiel.</p><p>Patiently, he waits for the human to appear. He wonders how they must have changed in all the intervening years. What adaptations might they have made in roughly 300 generations? The sun rises and he senses the human wake. He smiles to himself. This is his first audience with a sentient being in lifetimes. </p><p>When the door opens and the human appears, Castiel is struck dumb by his beauty. He is practically naked, which seems quite a step away from the protective clothing they wore the last time he’d been in their presence. This human’s features are both masculine and pretty, particularly in his mouth and eyes. He is very tall for his kind, and more beautiful than even his heavenly family. </p><p>When he shifts his perception to look at the human’s soul, he goes weak. He has never seen such pure radiance. It is the colors of creation, the shimmering consistency of magic, and luminous like the stars. It is perfection, and this human holds it within him.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p>Dean stretches and takes in a deep breath. He has long since gone without sleeping in anything but boxers out here. Even with his climate controlled sanctuary, he has to come outside to appreciate the view, and it’s just easier to be appropriately dressed for the elements. </p><p>“Morning, Clyde. You’re out bright and early today.” Dean notices that Clyde is straying closer to his house than usual, which sets his instincts on edge. Clyde is nothing if not predictable. “What’s got you spooked, huh? If you’re scared, I should probably be terrified right about now.”</p><p>Dean walks back and forth on the porch, stretching his senses out and observing. No movement. None. No birds or frogs, no sounds at all. Even the fish seem to have vanished.</p><p>Finally, his eyes go to the stone angel. “Is this your doing?” </p><p>Energy from the statue buzzes along his spine like usual, but it’s different somehow. More. Cognizant. </p><p>He shivers at the thought, but plays it off with humor. “I know you’re a big bad, but can you lay off the local wildlife? You’ve scared off my dinner.”</p><p>Stony silence. Dean quirks an uncomfortable grin and disappears back inside the cabin. When he leans against the door, he tries to tell himself that he’s not scared because there’s absolutely nothing to fear. Tell that to his galloping heart.</p><p> </p><p>When the human speaks to the large reptile in the water, it seems particularly unnecessary, unless they too have evolved a tremendous amount. Castiel doesn’t detect any huge leaps in brain activity, so he dismisses the idea. </p><p>Then, he feels the man reach out into the surrounding area. He is straining against the block in his brain that keeps humans using only their five senses. It’s what keeps them terrestrially bound. Castiel has never thought to give a human access to their full potential before, but if he could just touch this man, he would give him that and more. </p><p>When the human’s eyes lock on him, his words uttered directly to him, Castiel desperately wants to understand him. This language is similar to other human languages in its form, but it isn’t one that existed before he slept. He will need to hear more of it before he will be able to decode it. It feels like a shameful waste that his words are falling on what might as well be deaf ears. He wishes that he could gather them up and save them for a time when he can understand them.</p><p>He mourns that his human disappears so quickly into his home. Extending his perceptions, he can hear the rabbit quick beat of his heart. Is he afraid of Castiel? No. He wants to shout that he has nothing to fear from him, but his human would never understand his ancient language.<br/>*****</p><p>Castiel is intrigued by this man and focuses solely on him. Initially, he fought against the desire to watch him and listen to his thoughts. He is sure that the man would not approve. Now that he has been out of Castiel’s sight for most of the day, spending it inside his home where he can’t be seen without invasive means, he feels that he has no choice. He needs to study humanity to understand it. He needs to listen to the language to learn it, and the man isn’t talking.</p><p>So, he tentatively peeks into the man’s space, watching as he prepares food. The device he uses inside contains heat without fire. Interesting. He had always thought humans were the most ingenious of all creatures, even more so than angels. It seems he was right. </p><p>As the man works, Castiel hears him hum little bits of song. The beautiful man surprises him again with such a rich, melodic voice. Is there nothing this man can’t do? </p><p>Still, though, he doesn’t speak, so Castiel is forced to invade further. When he is able to communicate with him, he will offer his apologies for the intrusions.</p><p>Letting the thoughts flow over him, he tries to find patterns. He hears a few of the same words repeating. Sam. Benny. Dad. Angel. Clyde. Devin. The last one is always accompanied by sadness. It might be a name? Castiel continues with his study for hours. The man sits with a small, shining box and taps on it at odd intervals. Looking closer, he sees that each square has a symbol on it. Is this their language? He gets even more excited when he notices that when the square is pressed, the same symbol appears on the top of the open  box. His mind reels at the realization that humans are communicating at this level of sophistication. How far can these messages go? How are they sent? </p><p>Later in the day, an unnatural sound erupts from the box, but the human doesn’t seem alarmed. Instead, he smiles before he moves the little stone-sized black device. Another human appears on the open part of the box, but he is flattened into two dimensions.</p><p>“Hey, Sammy. You found me.”</p><p>“Yeah. You didn’t make it easy, Dean. You haven’t answered your phone in weeks.”</p><p>“I can’t. There’s no cell service where I am.”</p><p>“Which is?”</p><p>“Undisclosed.”</p><p>“Come on, Dean. I don’t know what nonsense you and dad are fighting over this time, but it has nothing to do with me.”</p><p>Castiel doesn’t like the feelings rolling off of his human. There is sadness, loneliness, and dismay. </p><p>“Look, Sam. I know that you weren’t in on this round, but the fight isn’t why I’ve gone radio silent. I’m working on something that I know for a fact that you would scoff at. Just thought I’d save myself the pain.”</p><p>The flattened human makes a sour face. “I don’t think it’s fair to assume what reaction I would have to an idea.”</p><p>“I’ve hardly had your support for much more conventional ideas. This one is way outside the scope of normal, believe me.”</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>His human is skeptical, but finally decides that he can trust this vision. “Okay. I found a statue that can make things disappear. I believe that it is moving them through space and possibly time. I intend to harness that ability for transport.”</p><p>There is a long pause before the vision says, “Fine, Dean. If you don’t want to tell me, just say so.”</p><p>The human gives an exasperated gesture with his eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know why I thought you might even try to think beyond the textbook.”</p><p>Castiel watches the rest of the apparent argument, which ends when his human makes a gesture at the vision and then slams the thin box closed. His hands prop his head up, and he sighs. </p><p>Castiel is understanding more and more of his language. He got enough to know that his human’s name is Dean. Sammy is the one on the box. Dean is working here, studying him. The other human was not happy about it. He needs just a little more time to get the nuances. </p><p>Pondering the possibility that this human is using him as a portal makes Castiel furious. How could this obviously enlightened age still use and abuse another being for travel. There are so many easier ways, as he tried to convince Euryale, the Gorgon who turned him to stone.</p><p>Dean comes out of his home, this time with something wooden in his hand. He sits on the edge of the outside floor and crosses his legs in front of him. He plucks his fingers along the metal strings, and the sound is exquisite. After a few more, he adds his voice to the mix and Castiel is mesmerized. </p><p>He’s heard music in heaven, of course, and even on earth, but those sounds were barbaric screams compared to the resonant beauty of Dean’s voice. Castiel listens enraptured while he plays and sings. Dean’s heart is heavy, and this is soothing for him. Castiel is having a difficult time staying angry with him. This creature can’t be harming angels. He hopes his assumption isn’t naive, and based solely on his strong reactions to Dean. </p><p>When the man turns to look at him, or the stone version of him, his heart leaps. Dean sings directly to him, his words full of emotion. “I don’t know how I’m gonna tell you. I can’t play with you no more. I don’t know how I’m gonna do what mama told me. My friend the boy next door.”</p><p>He hasn’t been prayed to, hasn’t even been seen, in eons. He’d forgotten how good it can feel. This is what being alive used to feel like. </p><p>The instrument he plays is beautiful, but again, it is Dean’s skill that makes it so. Dean keeps singing to him, a haunting song filled with regret and longing. “Why don’t your eyes see me? Could it be you’ve found another game to play?”</p><p>Castiel wants to console Dean, wants to reassure him that his eyes are seeing him. But he isn’t sure if he would be ready for the intrusion. He’s heard that it is quite jarring for a human to have an angel speak to them. He doesn’t want to add to his misery. </p><p>When the song ends, Dean leans his head back against the little home and just watches Castiel. Tears are in his eyes, but they don’t fall, nor does he make any outward acknowledgment of them. Stoically, he sits. As desperately as he wants to know what is bothering Dean, he refuses to listen in right now. That would be going too far.</p><p>Dean stands some time later and opens the complicated metal door. Before he enters, he says quietly, “Good night, Angel.” </p><p>Castiel is alone again, which shouldn’t bother him nearly as much as it does. Most of his existence has been solitary. But having the warmth of Dean’s soul focused on him was overwhelmingly good, and its sudden absence is too stark in the dark night.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean is feeling sorry for himself. He’s wallowing in it, now that the floodgates have opened. The fight with Sam was just the push he needed to slide down this particular spiral. Sam, with his blinders on and happy to have them. Sam, who never deviates from what’s ‘right’ according to their ‘holier than thou’ father. Sam, who also fell in love in college, but Eileen stayed while Devin... Again, Dean shoves his memory aside. He’s not so bad off that he’s going to open that door.</p><p>He doesn’t want Devin back anyway, not after how he ended things. But damn, does he feel a yearning for physical touch. He’s dated some, but mostly just to scratch the itch of having companionship. Yes, it turned sexual more often than not, but he’s never been prude about sex. Feelings, however, are a totally different beast. There haven’t been feelings involved for Dean since the day he shut the door and barricaded it in his fiance’s wake.</p><p> He’s kept himself so busy since he arrived in Louisiana that he hardly thinks of his body’s needs. Tonight, though, he needs the release. Once he strips down to his boxers and flops onto his bed, the sneaky little insinuations and desires from his brain get his attention. He runs light fingers over his chest as he thinks of what he might want in a lover. Devin had been a complete deviation from his typical type. That should have been a red flag, but hindsight and all that. So, he builds his dream man from snippets of men he’s admired in the past.</p><p>Dark hair, the darker the better, completely chaotic from his fingers. Blue eyes are a must, they’ve always captured Dean’s interest. Sharp jaw, broad shoulders, firm chest and stomach, fat, uncut cock, and thick thighs. He’s close to Dean’s height, but his presence is bigger than he is. </p><p>There’s a tightening in his belly that he can’t ignore, so he digs the bottle of lube out from under his cot and pushes the boxers down and behind his balls. He could just take them off, but he likes the pressure the stretched fabric puts there, almost as much as he likes being fingered. </p><p>He closes his eyes as he starts to stroke his erection, picturing the man in his mind doing it for him. This fantasy has coalesced into the perfect storm for Dean. He’s everything that Dean could possibly want physically, and that’s all that matters at this moment. </p><p>He tilts his head back, imagining his fantasy kissing and nipping at his neck on his way to explore the rest of his body. His eyes squeeze shut, his brow furrows in concentration. It feels so good, his hands forgotten for the moment, and only the figment of his imagination remains. </p><p>“Yes,” Dean murmurs as he grips himself tighter, picturing the lovely pink mouth wrapping around him. Blue eyes pin him while he swallows the rest of Dean’s cock. He moans low and throaty, his mouth dropping open. “Oh, shit.”</p><p>The images come more easily now that he has filled in so many details for his fantasy man. He grips the sheets that are bunched near his groin, filling in the thought of his fingers fisted in raven dark hair. He pushes his hips up to meet his grip, grinding against it shamelessly. </p><p>His fantasy changes and now he’s being mercilessly pounded into while he jacks himself off. His pace speeds to match his vision until he’s panting and beading with sweat. “Oh, fuck. Fuck!” he yells as his face twists in sweet agony.</p><p>“Dean! Are you hurt?”</p><p>The booming voice comes out of nowhere, shocking Dean into panic. He screams, and then the next five things happen all at once. He tightens his grip painfully on his dick, turns away from the voice, which is everywhere, opens his eyes wide to locate the intruder, sits up, and tries to cover himself. The result is similar to watching a frightened animal try to extract itself from a net, and just as bound for success. </p><p>He trips over the sheets he’s twisting around himself and because he didn’t let go of his rapidly deflating erection, he falls directly on the side of his face.</p><p>“Who’s there?” he yells from the floor, trying to sound menacing while upside down with his ass in the air.</p><p>There’s no immediate answer, so he asks again with more force.</p><p>“I’m Castiel.”</p><p>“Castiel? Where are you?”</p><p>“Close by.”</p><p>“Come out and show yourself.” By now, Dean has righted himself and covered himself with the sheet. He’s feeling on much more solid ground, even if his face is flushed hot. </p><p>“I can not. I’m trapped. I can only speak in your mind.”</p><p>“What?” Dean questions as he looks all around the cabin. He glances outside the windows, not knowing if he’d rather see something strange out there or not. The voice repeats its words exactly and Dean rolls his eyes.</p><p>“I understood the words, asshole. I’m asking what you are doing in my head.”</p><p>“What is ‘asshole’? I don’t know that word yet.”</p><p>Dean thinks of how to explain, but the voice cuts him off. “Oh, the muscle at the end of your digestive tract.”</p><p>“Are you fucking with me?”</p><p>“I don’t understand that-”</p><p>“Never mind.” Dean sits back down on the bed, completely flummoxed and reeling. He drops his head in his hands to think through the past few minutes. The voice gratefully lets him process in silence.</p><p>“How do you know my name?” he asks. </p><p>“I heard the flat human call you that.”</p><p>“The flat human?”</p><p>“Sammy.”</p><p>“Son of a -” Dean’s overwhelmed brain does its job and sends another jolt of adrenaline through his body. He’s off the bed and out the door, his shotgun in his hand. Pointing it out into the bayou, he strains to see any shadows that shouldn’t be there. </p><p>“You can not see me. That weapon would not harm me either.”</p><p>“Yeah, we’ll see about that. Why are you spying on me?”</p><p>Silence except for the frogs and bugs. “I apologize, Dean. I did not mean to cause any harm. I only needed to learn about humans and your language. You are the only human out here.”</p><p>Dean huffs out a breath, but doesn’t drop his guard. “So you’re not human.”</p><p>“No, I am not.”</p><p>“You gonna tell me what you are?”</p><p>“Not yet. I need to learn more first.”</p><p>“What if I won’t tell you more?”</p><p>“We don’t need to be friends to get what I need, but I would like to be.”</p><p>“That sounds like a threat to me, Cas.”</p><p>“It is not. I do not wish to cause you harm.”</p><p>Dean scans the rest of his surroundings, finding nothing out of place. Taking a huge leap of faith, he lowers the gun. Turning back toward the door, he stops when he hears the voice say, “Thank you, Dean.”</p><p>“For what?” he snips back at the disembodied voice. </p><p>“For trusting me.”</p><p>“I don’t. I just know my limitations. I can’t fight what I can’t see.” Dean enters his house again, and closes the door. Castiel still wants to know if Dean is hurt. He wants to keep talking to him, but he knows his limits too. He’s pushed the human enough for one day.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'll Only Touch the Moss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day dawns despite the mere minutes of sleep that Dean was able to cobble together. He couldn’t get past the idea that he was being watched like a medical experiment. In fact, Castiel had been watching him for a while, from the sound of it. How else would he have picked up English so fast?</p><p> </p><p>A worse thought tickles at the back of his brain, but he refuses to acknowledge it. Not yet. He can’t start down the path of doubting himself and his own senses. For a man of science, there is no greater fear than losing his faculties.</p><p> </p><p>He brings his cup of coffee out on the patio and sits down to observe. Clyde is absent, but he usually is in the morning. The fish are back, he notices. They can’t help but bump and jostle the lily pads and grasses as they feed on the bugs and larvae. Nice. That’s a disgusting thought that might just put him off fish for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Shrimp tastes better anyway. One of his first weekends down here, Benny had come out to check on him and they had followed the bayou out to its natural conclusion, and then continued out into the Gulf of Mexico. Benny’s boat wasn’t much bigger than Dean’s tiny one, and neither of them tempt fate by going too far out in the ocean. Benny had taught him how to cast and haul in a net, how to make the fish meal concoction that the shrimp go crazy for, and even how to shell them and get them ready to freeze. </p><p> </p><p>He knows that he’s deliberately avoiding the angel, somehow knowing that the statue and Castiel are linked. It’s not a coincidence that the energy shift happened just as the voice began speaking to him. Feeling ridiculous, he decides to bite the bullet and confront his delusions. </p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Castiel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Dammit. He’d been hoping that last night was a fever dream brought on by some ridiculously spicy Andouille sausage that Benny’s friend, Louis, had made. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you want to know?” His tone is gruff and demanding, though he feels like nothing more than a toy to this otherworldly creature.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean, perhaps we got started poorly. I do not want any information that you are not willing to give.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not how it sounded last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am aware. I apologize. I was emotional.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I was pretty emotional myself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Were you hurt? I was concerned.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean snorts. “I was about as far from hurt as I could get, actually.”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not under-”</p><p> </p><p>Interrupting, Dean chuckles. “Let’s save that as a topic for when we know each other better, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Castiel doesn’t respond immediately, but when he does, Dean realizes this is most definitely an intelligent being.  “I apologize. I was not aware that it was a private moment. I will do better about maintaining proper boundaries.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean smirks into his cup. “That’s a little hard to do when you’re in my head all the time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would you be more comfortable if I do not initiate conversation? If I wait for you to engage?”</p><p> </p><p>“Will you still watch me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Not if you do not give me permission.”</p><p> </p><p>He senses that Castiel means what he says. There is an earnestness in his voice that feels genuine. “How about you can ask me anything while I’m outside of the cabin and inside of the cabin is my private area? Fair?”</p><p> </p><p>“That is more than fair.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean takes his cup inside and returns with some gear that he lowers into the boat. “How far can I go with you still on board?” he asks as he taps his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I can speak to you anywhere in the world now that we have established a connection.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonderful,” he mutters, climbing down the ladder and into the boat. “So are you going to join me on my shrimping expedition?”</p><p> </p><p>“Would that be to your liking?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean puts on his sunglasses and baseball hat and shakes his head. “I can’t believe you learned to speak English from listening to me.”</p><p> </p><p>He starts the motor and heads in the opposite direction from his normal trek. He’s sad that he doesn’t see his buddy, Clyde.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you say that? And who is Clyde?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you sound like a robot, Cas. I don’t talk so formally.”</p><p> </p><p>“My speech will relax as I get more comfortable with it. I have only been speaking it for a short time.”</p><p> </p><p>“How long?”</p><p> </p><p>“I started listening to it yesterday.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow. So you haven’t been listening in for long. I thought you’d been watching since I moved in.” Dean is feeling better about the situation, at least from a potential stalker point of view. He moves the boat out of the forest and into the open marshland. The sun feels wonderful at this early hour. It doesn’t have much intensity to it yet, so it is welcoming and warm instead of oppressive. The briny air feels cool and biting after the close humidity of the trees.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Just one day. Clyde?”</p><p> </p><p>With a sly grin, Dean explains, “Clyde is the alligator. Are you jealous, Castiel?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. That would be absurd. I have no feelings for the reptile.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean laughs out loud, glad that he is alone in these waters. There’s no way he could explain any part of this conversation to anyone else.</p><p>
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</p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>“…and then the clean water flows into this pipe and into the cabin,” Dean explains. </p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely fascinating. Humanity has adapted so beautifully to the challenges of this world.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean feels ridiculous pride at Castiel’s praise. He’s been gone for several millennia. Of course he’s impressed at the strides they’ve made. The last humans he remembers were barely using tools yet. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel has asked about every gadget and technology that Dean possesses, and many that he has to explain without visuals. When Castiel doesn’t seem to get his descriptions, he gives permission to look into his mind and view his memories. There is hardly a tickle when the creature looks into his thoughts, but he does feel it, so he knows that he is keeping his word and giving Dean his privacy.</p><p> </p><p>Over the past couple of weeks, Dean’s constant companion has been the voice in his head that he is now somewhat certain is not a figment of his failing mind. </p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t mean that Dean is taking any chances. He documents all of his progress, including every thought he has on this project. He’s also been looking up signs of early onset dementia, as well as mental illnesses like schizophrenia. He isn’t exhibiting any other symptoms other than the near constant auditory hallucinations, but, hello! That’s a pretty fucking huge symptom.</p><p> </p><p>He answers Castiel’s every question, but he’s noticed that the voice is still suspiciously silent on the topic of himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay. I need some answers from you now, Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>“What would you like to know?” </p><p> </p><p>“Really? Just like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Just like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You haven’t exactly been forthcoming during our friendship, you know,” Dean explains.</p><p> </p><p>There is a warmth that suffuses his mind before the next words, “We’re friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course we are,” he smiles. “I’ve talked to you a hell of a lot more than I’ve ever talked to my human friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m- That makes me very happy, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Then answer some questions so I can get to know my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ask away.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you know the answer to that already.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s eyes cut to the statue immediately and Cas hums in approval. “You never cease to amaze me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re an angel?” He walks to the point of the porch that is closest to the statue, suddenly wanting to feel the buzz of proximity.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“But…”</p><p> </p><p>Cas lets him work on the puzzle, doesn’t interrupt him. </p><p> </p><p>“You said you’re trapped. You’re trapped inside that rock?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, shit. Cas. You’ve been inside of that thing for thousands of years?” Dean can’t keep the dismay out of his voice. He can’t imagine being held immobile for hours, let along for centuries upon centuries. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, it’s been my prison for a very long time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Cas.” Dean’s eyes fill with pity, sympathy, and helplessness. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. It means the world to me that you care.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I care, Cas.” Dean paces a few steps and then returns. “Is there a way to get you out of there?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know. This magic is alien to me. It came from the Gorgons, who were not made by the same creator.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gorgons? Like Medusa?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know of her?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Greek mythology.”</p><p> </p><p>“Greek?” </p><p> </p><p>Dean huffs and points to his head. “Take a peek. It’s easier.”</p><p> </p><p>He feels the gentle prodding of Cas filtering his thoughts and memories, but he keeps thinking.</p><p> </p><p>“The Gorgons have been all but wiped from history, it appears. I shouldn’t be this happy about it, but I find that my vindictive streak is a touch bigger than I’d like.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have every right to be happy that they were obliterated,” Dean says. “They imprisoned you.”</p><p> </p><p>They sit in silence for a moment while Dean stares at the statue. </p><p> </p><p>“Why did they imprison you?”</p><p> </p><p>“They were after a power of ours.” Cas is answering cautiously now, which makes Dean cross his arms over his chest defiantly. </p><p> </p><p>“I might be able to get you out of there if I have all of the information, Cas. Do you really want to hold out on me?”</p><p> </p><p>“This information is what caused the eradication of my species, Dean. Can you understand why I might be a little protective of it?” </p><p> </p><p>It is the first time that Cas has ever raised his voice to Dean, and it makes him take a literal step back. There is power radiating through their connection, a power that terrifies him. His arms raise instinctively to protect himself from the blow that he feels is coming. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel is horrified that Dean is cowering away from him. “Oh no. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, my light.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean feels the withdrawal of the power almost as soon as it touches him. It still takes a few breaths to get himself under control. When he finally drops his arms, he can feel Cas relax. “Dean, please forgive me.”</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?” </p><p> </p><p>Cas sounds devastated, but still answers with earnestness. “I’ve been helpless for so long in here. I forget that I still have some of my angelic powers. It’s no excuse. I should be more careful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Could you actually hurt me?”</p><p> </p><p>The long pause says enough, but finally Cas admits, “Yes, I could if I wished to. But please believe me. I would never hurt you, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Despite evidence that proves how strong Castiel can be, Dean doesn’t feel that he is a threat. “It’s okay, Cas. I believe you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Thank you, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean huffs out a laugh. “Alright, don’t get all emotional on me.”</p><p> </p><p>He hears an answering laugh in his mind, and the deep resonance of it tugs at Dean’s heart. </p><p> </p><p>Immediately, he chastises himself. He has no business at all finding joy in the company of an angel. He’s a powerful celestial being, a completely different species that belongs in heaven. There couldn’t be two creatures any less likely to be in a relationship. Damn. Him and his impossible crushes. </p><p> </p><p>“Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” </p><p> </p><p>“What is a crush?”</p><p> </p><p>“Dammit, Cas. You promised not to poke around in my brain without permission.”</p><p> </p><p>“I - You said it out loud.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>
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</p><p>*****</p><p>
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</p><p>Dean doesn’t mention Cas’s origin story again for a few days. He isn’t in the mood for another power display if the angel becomes agitated again. He is sitting on the porch after dinner, strumming on his guitar when a stray thought causes him to stop. </p><p> </p><p>“Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>“You called me your light. What do you mean by that?”</p><p> </p><p>Their mental connection gets stronger by the day, so he isn’t surprised that he can pick up on Cas’s feelings when they are strong enough. There is a definite tint of embarrassment coming across the line.  </p><p> </p><p>“It’s just a term of endearment, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think so. You wouldn’t be reacting like that if it was.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s perhaps a little more than that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Explain, Cas.” The huff of annoyance makes Dean smile fondly.</p><p> </p><p>“Angels can see human souls. Yours is…particularly bright.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean grins widely and he teases, “Aww…you think my soul is pretty, Cas?” </p><p> </p><p>“It is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Dean. Far superior to even the birth of a new star.”</p><p> </p><p>He forgets that Cas doesn’t always understand teasing, that he’s alien in many ways. The vehement reply coupled with the longing in his voice make Dean’s heart gallop. He is confused by what it means. Is it the same thing as thinking someone desirable? Is Cas interested in him? Or is it something more holy and pure? Of course it is. How could he be thinking dirty thoughts about an angel? What kind of pervert is he to want to sully something so ethereal?</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I’m a little taken aback by that. I don’t know what it means. Is that something important to angels?”</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose it can be, but really, it’s just one more thing to admire about you.”</p><p> </p><p>That just about floors him. “Admire? I’m nothing special.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is where you are wrong, Dean. You are spectacular.”</p><p> </p><p>Propping his guitar up against the cabin wall, he swings his legs out to hang over the side of the porch. “Cas, I hate to disagree with you when you’re saying such sweet things about me, but I’m afraid that your compass is a bit screwy. I’m the only human that you know. Compared to the cave men you knew, I’m sure I seem light years ahead.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not comparing you to other humans, Dean. I’m comparing you to all other creatures that I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like other angels?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Among others.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do I want to know?” </p><p> </p><p>“Probably not. You seem to freak out when I tell you about celestial things.”</p><p> </p><p>“Freak out? I haven’t freaked out.” Dean’s scowl is over the top, but he loves to banter with his angel.</p><p> </p><p>“You went fully catatonic when I confirmed that there was life on other planets.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was a lot to process,” Dean defends grumpily as Cas laughs. The sound is so perfect that it makes Dean tear up with joy. He swallows around the lump of emotion. </p><p> </p><p>“You should do that more often,” he says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Laugh?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” is his sheepish reply. “It sounds really good to me. You might think my soul is pretty, but that laugh could bring me to my knees, Cas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I will do it every day.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you look like?”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Right now?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I mean, what do angels look like?”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have physical bodies in the heavens, but we can take on the appearance of humans.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, what do you look like if you don’t have a body?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m much larger than my prison, for one.”</p><p> </p><p>“So not only are you trapped, you’re compressed, too?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, it’s no worse than it was before. I can take a human form for decades without feeling compressed, as you called it.”</p><p> </p><p>“How is it that you’re so huge and so strong, and you can’t break out of stone? Even the strongest rock can’t possibly be stronger than you, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“Natural stone, no. The Gorgons weren’t of this dimension. They come from a place where magic is different than it is here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait. Magic exists?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, dear.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cas. Why didn’t you mention that before?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I’ve already mentioned the precedent.”</p><p>
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</p><p>“Dean, I think this is very unwise.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean is approaching the statue the same way that he’s done it several times before. He’s bound by rope and letting out the slack just inches at a time. He’d explained it to Cas before he started, but now the angel is seeing Dean get too close for comfort. He might need to explain the dire consequences of coming into contact with the stone.</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot touch the statue, under any circumstances,” he reiterates.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Cas. I know that touching the statue makes objects disappear.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know that and yet you continue to get closer?” Cas isn’t too angry yet, but he’s definitely stirring up the air. The hairs on Dean’s body are all standing up like they’re rubbed by static electricity.</p><p> </p><p>“Easy, angel. I’m not going to touch anything but the moss.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know that it -”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I’ve gathered it before. I found an anomaly in the cell structure, and I want to see if it’s changed since you’ve been awake.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re putting your life in danger to check on the health of a plant? Are you insane?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean scowls at the statue, looking it directly in the eyes. “I wouldn’t have to keep guessing at what propels objects out of the air and where it sends them if I knew the answers, now would I?”</p><p> </p><p>The static turns up a notch, and Dean smells the tang of ozone.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, sparky. Calm down before you bring lightning down on me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t strike you with lightning. Not when you’re this close to me, anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aha ha. Funny man today, aren’t you?” Dean is reaching up very carefully to cut a piece of moss.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re rubbing off on me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t I wish,” Dean mutters.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean sighs and is about to remind Cas that he can literally read his mind when Cas gasps and yells for him. Dean turns, but by the time he sees Clyde’s snout go underneath his boat, it’s too late to do anything. The alligator lifts his head just enough to tip the boat forward, which sends Dean careening over the edge. His choices are to risk landing on the alligator or bracing himself. </p><p> </p><p>He realizes too late that he should have chosen the alligator. His hand touches the statue for a brief moment, but then he falls through it as his head echoes with a horrendous scream. He doesn’t think it was him screaming. Was that Cas? Did it hurt him?</p><p> </p><p>Dean lands on a mossy ground, not in water. He takes two very rapid breaths before he looks up. “Oh, fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>He’s not in the bayou. He’s pretty sure that he’s not on earth, either. The air is heavy and it smells oily and pungent. High above him, there is an abrupt end to the atmosphere, where it looks like unctuous waves roll. It reminds him of being underwater, but he’s definitely breathing air. </p><p> </p><p>Thick, polyp-like, glowing plants wave to a rhythm he can’t hear or see. Reminiscent of anemones, they make him cautious of getting too close in case the similarities don’t end with their shape.</p><p> </p><p>He starts his exploration directly behind him, hoping that he can find his way back the same way that he arrived. There’s nothing apparent, even after he goes back and forth over the area multiple times. Is he stuck here? Will he never talk to his angel again?</p><p> </p><p>Panic sets in as he looks around him. He sits down on the ground, pulls his knees up, and makes himself small. </p><p> </p><p>“Cas, can you hear me?”</p><p> </p><p>There is no response, no sound at all except the distorted squawk of something very large in the distance.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, please! Please. You have to be there. I can’t do this alone. I don’t want to be alone here. I don’t want to be without you.”</p><p> </p><p>Now that he’s not moving, the smaller creatures are coming out of hiding. In just moments, the air fills with undulating wings and flippers. Dean has never seen anything like them. They are so different from the animals of earth that he doesn’t have comparisons that come close. Slithering, dripping, viscous limbs combine with colors he’s never seen and too many bizarre-shaped eyes. At least, he thinks that they’re eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Dean clenches his fists and closes his eyes. He uses every last bit of his concentration to reach out across that connected place in his mind, the place that tickles when Cas reads his thoughts, where he hears his words. “Castiel. I need you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>Dean takes in a wobbly breath. Cas’s voice is faint and sounds like it’s coming to him through water. It is distorted and follows the rhythm of the plants surrounding him.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas!” </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t find you. There are so many dimensions. Keep talking, Dean.” He sounds scared. What could be so bad that it scares an angel?</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. Sure. I’ll talk.” He laughs nervously when another shriek sounds. “I think something here wants to eat me, Cas. I’m out in the open.”</p><p> </p><p>“Describe it.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean prattles on about his surroundings, the dense iridescent forest, for lack of a better word. He describes the silvery sky that opens up and showcases several planets nearby. He is definitely not on earth. Damn. Any other time he’d be thrilled to see this other planet with all of these signs of life. But right now, he just wants to be back in the swamp with his angel’s voice and his stupid alligator.</p><p>  </p><p> </p><p>The longer he talks, the more he feels like he’s lost his mind. This probably isn’t another planet. He’s probably experiencing a psychotic break. It makes more sense, actually. Why else would he be able to breathe here? No. He can’t afford to doubt himself now. He will hold on to the knowledge that Cas is real and he is working to get Dean out of this debacle. </p><p> </p><p>“Cas? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”</p><p> </p><p>He hears impressions of words, but nothing solid like it was earlier. Is Cas going in the wrong direction? Could he be getting further away?</p><p> </p><p>Another spine-melting screech sounds above and much too close to Dean. The waving rhythm of the forest picks up its pace suddenly, which hasn’t happened since he arrived. The only thing that makes sense to him is that something large is moving through this atmosphere, enough to create a wake.</p><p> </p><p>“Cas, I have to move. Something is heading this way. I don’t want to be a foreign delicacy.”</p><p> </p><p>Amid the staticky feedback, he hears the word shelter. “No shit, Cas. Of course I’m looking for shelter.”</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately for Dean, the glowing forest leaves little shade and no ground cover. He needs to find a break in this environment. As he moves, he recognizes that little fluffy, feathery things are collecting on his clothes. Similar to dandelion seeds in a way, the creatures have no predominant head, but they do have a split tail. If he shakes them off, they will release and bounce along until they regain their spot riding the air current. If he brushes them away with his hands, they fight back. </p><p> </p><p>“Ow, you little shit,” Dean curses and shakes one off of his finger where the feathery-looking appendages turn out to be sharp. His aggression seems to anger the whole flock of them. Or would it be herd? School?</p><p> </p><p>Whatever the group is called, they can communicate between themselves without sound, and the battle cry has been sounded. In seconds, they are mobbing him, descending on him and creating a soft-looking, but viciously sharp coat. Flailing around to dislodge them is catching someone else’s attention. </p><p> </p><p>Towering above him, his pursuer appears. It has been moving through the dense plants, hanging securely by several limbs of varying lengths. Its skin is darker than any color Dean has seen. In fact, the glow of the vegetation seems to bend in unnatural ways when it gets close. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, fuck. Cas, it found me.”</p><p> </p><p>One word breaks through the barrier. “Run!”</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t need to be told twice. His feet move faster than he would have thought possible at his age. His stowaways either dig into his skin or let go and scatter when the serpent-like thing screams. Dean grits his teeth against the pain and moves even faster. </p><p> </p><p>When he loses his footing, he staggers into one of the pillowy plants. Its surface is sticky, reminding Dean of sap. Immediately, his skin burns. The predator reaches out with one of its dozens of appendages and just before it can wrap around Dean’s arm, he pushes back to his feet and keeps running. Feeling a throbbing sting, Dean looks down to see the sap changing color and pulsating. Underneath, his skin is turning a deep red. Dammit, this stuff is trying to digest him. He swipes it against the only thing he knows he can trust; his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>The creature is gaining on him again, the swooping sound of it swinging from plant to plant sounding like his death knell. He doesn’t want to die here. </p><p> </p><p>Pushing himself beyond the limits of his body is the only way to survive. He can’t let himself be taken. ‘Think, Dean. Use that big brain,’ he encourages himself. This thing can’t be smarter than him. He doesn’t have to win the fight, just outsmart his opponent. </p><p> </p><p>Seeing a small open space beneath one of the purpley-green plants, he dives to the ground and rolls underneath. Before the creature can react and catch sight of him again, he’s sprinting in the opposite direction. It doesn’t like that he’s gotten away from it, so it bellows dramatically. This tactic works quite a few times, and he realizes that it isn’t used to intelligent prey. Thank all that is holy for dumb monsters.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas breaking radio silence fills him with confidence. “I’m here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you injured?”</p><p> </p><p>“Repeatedly, but I think I’ll be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m almost there. Have you found cover?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Not yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Look for shiny bubbles. It should be low to the ground.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do I do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Go through it. It’s a web for a little dog-sized creature. It will be covering their den.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I want to bust into something else’s den, Cas. I’ve already pissed off the snake of doom.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just do it. If the thing that is chasing you is what I think it is, you’re better off dealing with the Azevet.”</p><p> </p><p>“The what now?”</p><p> </p><p>“The dog creature.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean steers his aggravation away. He can’t be upset with any assistance at this point. This mess is his fault. Several yards ahead, he sees a frothing foam. “Can you see? Is that it, Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. That’s exactly it.”</p><p> </p><p>The substance looks vile, but he hears the swooping behind him getting closer, so he dives forward. The landing knocks the air from his lungs, but he can’t stop until his entire body is in the burrow. Dragging and pulling himself along the mossy ground stirs up more tiny creatures that push some type of bioluminescent fog into the air. Blooms of it rise and swirl together, shimmering like gold with vivid pink underneath. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s pretty,” he says.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s pretty?” Cas asks quickly. “Dean! What is pretty?”</p><p> </p><p>“This fog. It’s coming up from the ground.” </p><p> </p><p>Dean takes a deep, satisfying breath just as Cas warns, “Don’t breathe it in.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean hacks and coughs, desperately trying to expel it from his body. “Too late.”</p><p> </p><p>“Dammit, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not like I chose to be here, Cas!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Dean. I’m close by, but you’re about to fall asleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll watch over you, though.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean could feel his eyes getting heavier, his body dropping loose and relaxed to the ground. “You called me ‘sweetheart’,” he grins dopey and slack.</p><p>
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</p><p>He wakes in a rush, sitting up and looking around for some clue of what had happened during his drugged slumber. He’s near a little light source, but he can’t make out what it is. Across from it is a man, who’s turning his way. Holy shit. It’s his fantasy man. His jaw drops open, and his mouth dries up. He can’t speak in front of this mesmerizing vision.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p><p> </p><p>Confusion lands on his brow. “Cas?”</p><p> </p><p>The man nods and gives him a soft smile. “I found you.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you? How are you?” Dean gestures to him in lieu of finishing his thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>The perfection of his face is even better with the flush of pink. “I took the images from your mind. I wanted you to see someone pleasing to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Pleasing…” Dean laughs. “You’re my every dream come true, Castiel.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean needs to get closer. He wants to touch Cas with an urgency he can’t quite believe. As he crawls over next to his angel, Cas’s eyes go wide. Dean hopes that his approach isn’t unwanted. Reaching out to cup his face, Dean feels a pang of disbelief when Cas shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not really here, Dean. This is just an astral form. You can’t touch me physically.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas reaches out and his arm goes through Dean like smoke. “I want to, Dean, but I don’t have a body here.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re still stuck in the statue?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, everything is the same here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did this hurt you?” Dean asks quietly. “I thought I heard a scream.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas looks away before lying, “No, it didn’t hurt me at all. I’m quite alright.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean smiles. “I’m glad. It was stupid enough to get that close and fall into the statue. I would hate it if it hurt you, too.”</p><p>
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</p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>“So, where are we?” Dean asks as he and Cas walk through the mystifying landscape. One of the planet's suns is coming up, and most of the sappy, glowing plants have curled in on themselves, leaving a much wider path. Cas is searching for a weakened spot in the fabric of spacetime, which is way above Dean’s pay grade, so he just follows the angel. He’s enjoying having the time to commit Cas to memory while he has the opportunity. </p><p> </p><p>“Um, we’re on an unnamed planet in what humans are referring to as the whirlpool galaxy.” Cas doesn’t look at him, just continues to scan the horizon.</p><p> </p><p>“And where is that?”</p><p> </p><p>“About 30 million light years from earth.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean stutters to a stop. “Seriously?”</p><p> </p><p>Cas turns to look at Dean’s slack-jawed expression. Behind his eyes, Cas can see the amazingly quick connections being made. He waits patiently for his lovely human to catch up. </p><p> </p><p>“You.” The word isn’t accusatory, just a simple fact. “You are the portal, not the statue. It’s never been about the statue.”</p><p> </p><p>Cas smiles weakly. Now it’s time to see what Dean is actually made of. “Yes, my light. Angels travel so quickly through space and time that it is almost instant.”</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s grin spreads. “That must be amazing.”</p><p> </p><p>“I…suppose it is, yes.” Honestly, Cas had never thought about it before. It was just the way that he traveled. Thinking of the various ways that humans must rely on to travel, he can see why they would find his ability incredible. They’d probably do just about anything to have it. He ignores the proverbial red flags in his mind, and he chooses instead to trust Dean.</p><p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I'll Find a Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The return trip through the statue is horrible. He feels stretched and tenderized like a cheap cut of meat. It doesn’t help that he lands in the swamp face first. Thankfully, Clyde isn’t there to worry about. Just the snakes and leeches. Fucking fantastic. </p><p>Especially because all of his cuts from the bizarre forest are now letting in who knows what kind of bacteria.</p><p>“Cas?” He calls when he’s back on his porch, dripping like a drowned rat. The angel isn’t answering. </p><p>“Castiel? Are you okay?”</p><p>His panic must be evident because Cas answers him with the impression of a word, “Tired”. </p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean for you to wear down your batteries rescuing my dumb ass.”</p><p>“Grace.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>There isn’t an answer for several minutes, so Dean strips out of his disgusting clothes and leaves them on the porch. He is halfway through his shower when Cas finally responds, startling Dean into almost slipping and falling.</p><p>“My life force is called grace.”</p><p>“Great. That couldn’t have waited until I’m out of the shower?”</p><p>“I astral projected myself through a shredded portal to a parallel dimension to ours over 30 million light years away.” </p><p>Dean starts to answer and apologize for his snarkiness, but Cas talks right over him. “I brought you back to your home, and in the process depleted all of my reserves of grace. I think you should show me a little respect!”</p><p>The entire bayou rocks with the angel’s anger. Dean dips his head sheepishly and tries to contain his fear. “I am very sorry, Castiel. You saved me even after you warned me against my foolish actions in the first place. You didn’t have to do that for me, but I am grateful.”</p><p>“Thank you, Dean. I’m sorry, too. I’m not myself when I’m this exhausted.”</p><p>Dean continues his shower, scrubbing shampoo through his hair. “I wish there was something I could do for you; some way to ease your pain.”</p><p>“Can you-”</p><p>“Can I what, Cas? Just ask.”</p><p>“I sense that this is another private moment that I’m intruding on. It can wait.”</p><p>“Hey, you’ve seen me jerking off, showers are hardly groundbreaking after that,” Dean teases.</p><p>He rinses out the soap before Cas replies. “Nakedness is the issue, is it not?”</p><p>“Sure. Humans are private about their bodies except for people that they are close to intimately.”</p><p>“Sexually?”</p><p>“Yes.” Dean keeps humor out of his voice because he senses that it is partially what set Cas off earlier.</p><p>“Will you tell me about it?”</p><p>“About what, Cas? Sex?”</p><p>“Yes. I want to know why humans value it so greatly.”</p><p>Dean turns the water off and grabs his towel. “Well, it isn’t an intellectual thing. It’s an emotional and physical thing, so it’s difficult to explain without experiencing. But I’ll try.”</p><p>Dean wraps the towel around his waist and tucks in the ends to keep it in place. </p><p>“What do you want to know?” Dean feels like he’s about to give “the talk” to a child. Cas is immortal, and yet he’s the one with all of the experience here.</p><p>“Why do you want sex when it isn’t for practical reasons?”</p><p>Dean could give the flippant answer, but Cas is nothing if not earnest, so he wants to repay him by being the same. “Honestly, it’s the way we’re made. Our bodies are programmed to want sex as soon as we’re old enough to procreate.”</p><p>“So it’s just a biological imperative?”</p><p>Dean smirks. “No, it’s much more than that. I don’t want kids, but I still think about sex a ridiculous number of times a day.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“It feels good, Cas. It feels better than just about anything else in the world.”</p><p>There is perplexed silence coming back to him. “Okay, you don’t have a body as an angel, right?”</p><p>“No, only when we take a vessel.”</p><p>“Have you ever taken one?”</p><p>“Only once. I was very young.” </p><p>Thinking of that brunette with vivid blue eyes, Dean grins. “I’ll bet you were adorable.”</p><p>“I looked the same as I do now, Dean. Angels are not children.”</p><p>Immediately, the human scowls. “You just ruined so many thoughts I had about the heavens being filled with little cherubic winged babies.”</p><p>“Cherubs are not at all like humans portray them.”</p><p>“I know, I know.” Dean sighs. “So, when you took your vessel, did you ever feel your own skin?”</p><p>“Yes, it was very pleasant.”</p><p>“Did anyone else ever touch you?”</p><p>“Yes, just a hand on my arm.”</p><p>“Did it feel different than when you touched your own skin?”</p><p>“Yes. I didn’t know to anticipate it.”</p><p>“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.” He sits on his cot and leans against the wall. Dean keeps imagining the stunning man who rescued him. He wants to see him again, wants Cas to be in the same room talking to him.</p><p>“How hard is it to project yourself?”</p><p>“Like before?”</p><p>“Just to me.”</p><p>“It’s not hard. The distance is what strained me.”</p><p>“Will you do it? Will you come to me?”</p><p>Before he feels any response coming, Cas is standing there at the end of the bed. Dean sighs and gives him a flirty grin. “You chose this form well, Cas. You are gorgeous.”</p><p>“And that pleases you?”</p><p>“It pleases me a whole lot. Do you remember when you first spoke to me?”</p><p>“Of course. You were very angry.”</p><p>“I was afraid. Humans will get angry to mask their fear.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“You asked me before what I was doing when you spoke to me.”</p><p>Cas nods and comes closer, his beautiful eyes wide with interest.</p><p>“I was giving myself an orgasm. Do you know that word?”</p><p>“Yes, it’s the end of the sex act.”</p><p>“Sure, that’s one way of putting it. It’s the part that we strive for, Cas. It’s the few seconds that make sex worth pursuing.”</p><p>“The pleasurable part.”</p><p>“Well, it’s all pleasurable.”</p><p>Dean can feel that Cas is becoming frustrated. The human finds himself on edge now that Castiel’s eyes are on him, now that the dark-haired beauty is within sight. He applauds himself once more for fantasizing in such  great detail. He can’t help but express his interest and appreciation now that Cas has a body to go with that incredible mind.</p><p>“I was using the pictures you pulled from my mind to get aroused. That’s why they were there. I was thinking of everything I find attractive in a person, and I pulled together all of my favorites.”</p><p>Cas looks at himself with renewed interest. “And this is what you want?”</p><p>“Yes. You’re my fantasy come to life.”</p><p>Cas smiles a genuine smile. “That pleases me.”</p><p>“Me, too.” Dean’s tone is as lewd as his thoughts, but he doesn’t think his angel picks up on it. “I just wish that you weren’t just to look at. I wish I could touch you.”</p><p>Cas tilts his head as he scrutinizes Dean. “Me or this body?”</p><p>“Both,” he replies without hesitation. Cas blinks in surprise. </p><p>“Is that too bold of me to say?”</p><p>“No, I appreciate the honesty.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head in dismay. “Are you just gonna leave it at that? No reciprocity?”</p><p>“I find you extremely attractive, Dean. And your soul.” Cas stops and swallows harshly. When he gets a better handle on himself, he completes his thought. “Your soul is beyond description.”</p><p>Well, that answers that nagging question. Souls are definitely on his angel’s kink list. He can’t say that he is disappointed. He might be a lowly human, but there is something about him that Cas finds desirable.</p><p>“I would like to know what sex is like.”</p><p>“Would you like me to show you?”</p><p>“You would do that for me?”</p><p>Dean smirks, “Well, to be honest, it would be for me, too.”</p><p>Cas levels him with a weighty glare. Damn. It has the opposite effect than Cas most likely intends. It sends a shiver through Dean’s body, and has his cock plumping under the towel. He loves that domineering look on Cas’s face. </p><p>Is he really going to do this? He’s cautiously settling into a slouch that shows off his body to its best advantage. Cas’s eyes haven’t left his, so he slowly untucks the towel and lets it fall open. Just having the audience, this audience, is enough to have his cock filling in record time. He isn’t sure how to respond when the expression on the angel’s face doesn’t change. </p><p>“Uh, Cas? When someone reveals their most intimate parts to you, a response is appropriate. A nice one would be particularly welcome right now.”</p><p>The blue eyes pop up to meet his, wonder and interest are evident. “I’m sorry, Dean. I thought it might offend you to discuss your sex organs.”</p><p>Dean chuckles. “No, when they are on display on purpose, it’s okay.”</p><p>“I don’t know what I should say.”</p><p>He swallows hard around his insecurity. “Just tell me what you are thinking.”</p><p>“You are shaped differently than my vessel. I am surprised that you had such specific thoughts about what this body should look like when it is different from your own.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah. I was circumcised when I was a baby, but I really like the idea of being with someone who wasn’t.”</p><p>“Is it a religious preference?”</p><p>Dean smiles. “Not at all. It’s a sensation and lubrication preference.”</p><p>Cas tilts his head again. Dean waves him off and instead asks, “Can you take those clothes off in this form?”</p><p>In a breath, Cas is standing in front of him naked. The air rushes from his lungs in a weak whine. “Jesus, Cas.”</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Nothing, sweetheart. You just took my breath away.”</p><p>Cas squints at him. “I’ve been asleep for thousands of years, and I still know that was a line.”</p><p>“It might have been cheesy, but it’s true. Damn, you are something to behold.”</p><p>Dean forgets the awkwardness and gives his cock a few light strokes. Cas moves closer and sits on the edge of the bed which shocks Dean. “Are you physically here?”</p><p>With a frown, Cas explains, “No, it’s still just my spirit. I can adjust to the environment.”</p><p>“But I still can’t touch you?”</p><p>“No,” Cas admits with a deep regret. “I wish you could, Dean. I want you to.”</p><p>Dean groans at the thought. He wants nothing more than to put his hands all over his angel. Hearing that Cas wants that too is making him yearn. “Is that why you asked about sex, Cas?”</p><p>The angel nods with a reluctant smile. </p><p>“Is that something that angels do?” He asks gently, even though he already knows the answer.</p><p>“No, we don’t have bodies. We don’t feel like humans do.”</p><p>“Yet you want to.”</p><p>“With you, yes. More than anything.” </p><p>His breathy admission makes Dean’s heart beat at a quick clip, practically slamming into his ribcage.</p><p>“Castiel,” Dean moans and closes his eyes. His hand grips tighter on himself and he pulls slowly, making the sensations linger. </p><p>“What does that feel like?” Dean opens his eyes to see Cas fixated on the movement.</p><p>“Take a peek, Cas.”</p><p>“These are private feelings, Dean. I couldn’t.”</p><p>“Hey.” Dean calls to get his attention. “Sex is meant to be shared. I don’t mind you watching or knowing my thoughts because they’re all about you. I’m feeling this way because of what you do to me, Cas.”</p><p>Dean continues the languid strokes, waiting for Cas to make up his mind. Finally, he feels the tickle in his consciousness and sees the responding pleasure break across Cas’s face. His eyes slip shut as he mutters what must be curses under his breath. They’re in a language that Dean has never heard, but it sounds ancient and foreboding. </p><p>“You like that, angel?”</p><p>“Is it always this good?”</p><p>Dean laughs for real this time. “Oh, Cas. This is nothing. I can’t wait for you to feel me come.”</p><p>Intense blue focuses on him like a laser. “Yes, please. Dean.” Cas pleads with him, but his voice trails off as Dean thumbs over his frenulum. Now that Cas is in his head, he stops teasing and gets down to business. He uses all of his best tricks to get himself off. </p><p>Having an angel in his bed is fascinating. He is experiencing as much joy from watching Cas react to the new feelings as he is by his own hand. His left hand drifts down over his balls, rolling them before reaching further to rub over that sweet spot just below them. Cas practically chokes on his tongue and moans. </p><p>“How do you stand it?”</p><p>“Stand what?”</p><p>“Not feeling this way all the time.” Cas is fidgety and flickering, his connection to his body, for lack of a better word, frazzled by the lust he’s obviously feeling through his connection to Dean.</p><p>“That’s exactly why humans are so devoted to sex, Cas. They want this feeling as much as they can get it.”</p><p>Dean watches his angel getting lust drunk on his own movements. “This is killing me to have you so close and not be able to touch you. Come closer, Cas.”</p><p>He envisions Cas crawling up his body, dropping kisses along the way. When he pictures Cas grinding down on him, the projected version of him huffs out an agonized sound. </p><p>“Dean, please.”</p><p>Cas is lying on the bed next to him now, just a few inches from his own body. The only reminder that he’s not really here is the lack of body heat radiating from him. Dean turns closer into him, as close as he dares. He doesn’t try to touch him because he can’t imagine breaking the illusion right now. </p><p>“Cas, I want this with you. Someday.”</p><p>“I want that, too, Dean.”</p><p>His pace frantic, his breathing harsh, all Dean can think about is Cas. He thinks about kissing him deep and dirty, about spending hours on his knees sucking him, about making Cas shout his name. Every time he pictures something new, it adds more tension to the already taut connection holding the flood gates closed.</p><p>“Yes, Dean. I want it.” Cas throws his head back, his hand gripping in his hair. </p><p>“What do you want, Cas?”</p><p>“Everything. Everything you’re showing me.” His angel is writhing next to him, muscles clenched and needy. Dean is trembling, holding himself back, knowing that Cas isn’t there even if his form is. </p><p>“I’ll give it to you. Whatever you want.” His pledge is true, despite coming in the midst of sex. Whatever Castiel asks, he will deliver. </p><p>Dean feels the tightening in his belly, the lift that occurs right before the fall. “Oh, Cas. I’m gonna come. Pay attention, angel. This is the good part.”</p><p>“Yes, Dean. I want to feel it.”</p><p>When the first pulse hits him, he whispers Cas’s name. His angel whimpers and then his mouth drops open. </p><p>“Look,” Dean manages before his mind goes blissfully blank. </p><p>Castiel watches the thick, pearly ribbons of come jet out of Dean’s sex and onto his stomach and chest. He isn’t sure where the impulse comes from, but he wants to lean over his human’s body and lap up every drop. He’s still feeling the heat, the chaos of pleasure, and it slips into sated, content happiness. </p><p>What a wild, incomprehensible ride this has been. He has never felt so close to another being, has never experienced anything so intense and debilitating. </p><p>The quiet of Dean’s mind is telling. Usually there are dozens of thoughts vying for his attention, but now the only thought is him. It fills him with pride to see how devoted Dean is to him already. This relationship with him is impossible, but he’s going to do whatever it takes to have as much with Dean as he possibly can.</p><p>“So, what did you think?”</p><p>There’s a touch of doubt in his tone, and that isn’t what Cas wants to hear.</p><p>“Amazing,” Cas praises. “Sex is so much more than I would have ever believed.”</p><p>“Just wait until we can do it together. What you just felt is nothing compared to actual sex.”</p><p>Cas’s eyes go wide before softening into a smirk. <br/>*****</p><p>“Good morning, Cas.” Dean sets his plate down on the patio table and takes a seat. </p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p><p>Digging into his eggs, Dean contemplates the dreaded statue holding Cas hostage. “I’ve been doing some thinking,” he begins. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“I need to know everything I can about angels, and I have to understand your form of travel if I have any hope of getting you out of there.”</p><p>Castiel tries not to let his hope hit Dean like a bolt of lightning. Even so, Dean chuckles. “We need to work on your poker face, angel.”</p><p>“My what face?”</p><p>Dean taps his head, which has become their shorthand for him giving Cas permission to tap into his thoughts. It’s been happening so frequently lately that he’s not sure if Dean realizes that it would be easier to give him unfettered access. He won’t ask, though. Dean needs privacy, even if it is only for show. </p><p>“I’m glad you’re enthusiastic about the idea, though. I wasn’t sure if you would freeze me out like the last time I asked about angels.”</p><p>“Dean, can you put yourself in my position? I thought you might be exploiting the statue for its power. I had to get to know you first.”</p><p>“No, I get it, Cas. I understand why you keep things close to the vest.”</p><p>“What do you want to know?”</p><p>“What do you think would be helpful? You mentioned yesterday that your life force is called grace. Tell me how that works.”</p><p>For hours, Cas speaks about angels, and specifically himself. Dean takes his boat closer to the statue before noon, anchoring it at a safe distance. Cas doesn’t chastise him this time, feeling how much Dean wants to be closer to him. Dean drifts with the slow current, lying down in the boat and dozing in and out as the day becomes pressingly hot. </p><p>“I can’t believe how easy it is for you to travel through space,” Dean mutters. “Do you know how limitless the human race could be if we had that kind of traveling ability?”</p><p>Cas aches to tell him everything, to give him the keys to the proverbial kingdom. He just can’t. Not when he still has doubts about how Dean will use the information. It kills him to deny his golden light anything.</p><p>Late in the afternoon, when Dean is sitting on the porch again taking down notes, his laptop makes that alarming sound, which Dean had told him was Skype.</p><p>Dean scowls, but clicks to open the app. “Hello, son.”</p><p>“Dad. What can I do for you?” Cas hears nothing but bitterness in Dean’s voice, which is so unlike his human that it sets him on edge. </p><p>“When are you going to get over this tantrum and come back to work?”</p><p>Dean huffs and rolls his eyes. “Probably never.”</p><p>“Are you seriously going to throw your career away because I hurt your feelings? I didn’t think you were that much of a princess.”</p><p>Cas watches the clench of Dean’s jaw tighten with every word his father speaks. He would love to have a corporeal form right now just so he could punch Mr. Winchester right in his smug mouth. </p><p>“I’m doing research. Me being here has nothing at all to do with you or the company. I am on sabbatical doing a personal research project.”</p><p>“Sam said you’re trying to make a statue come to life. Sounds like you’re really on the verge of a breakthrough.” He couldn’t be more snide if he tried and Cas is getting violently angry now. The vibrations are causing ripples across the surface of the water, and finally, Dean glances in his direction.</p><p>“You wouldn’t know a creative idea if it kicked you in the balls,” Dean snaps. He looks back at the statue and shakes his head minutely. In his mind, Cas clearly hears Dean think that he should back off for now.</p><p>“You snot-faced know it all. I’ve been in this industry for decades. There’s nothing you could come up with that I haven’t already seen.”</p><p>Dean rubs a hand over his mouth. “You know, John, it’s that kind of thinking that makes you a dinosaur. You could be staring at something revolutionary, and you’d never know it because you have no imagination and no curiosity.”</p><p>Cas is proud that Dean isn’t rising to the bait, that he is being the mature one. He’s only been trying to understand the human psyche for an instant in comparison, but even he knows that the older Winchester is being petty and spiteful.</p><p>“I’m a man of science, Dean. I don’t need imagination, I need logic and reasoning.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head and looks over at the statue. He would love to share this new knowledge with his family. It could be the crowning achievement of Winchester Aerospace, of the entire aerospace community, if they could find a way to access portals intentionally. There’s no way that either Sam or his dad would listen without hard proof, though. </p><p>“Science? Dad, science is all about inquiry. Asking ‘what if?’ You’re all about playing it safe and profit margin.”</p><p>“And you’re a head in the clouds dreamer, Dean. This isn’t a theoretical field, son. We work in mathematical possibilities.”</p><p>“Possibility doesn’t mean only what’s worked before.”</p><p>John sighs and his voice calms. “Dean, this argument is as old as you are. This is getting us nowhere.”</p><p>“Well, that’s something we can finally agree on.”</p><p>“When are you coming back?”</p><p>“Not until I am done with my research.”</p><p>The soft edge to John’s voice is gone instantly, “Dean, I was letting this nonsense go on because I felt bad for what I said in the lab. But I’m done coddling you. Get your ass back home and back to work, or you might just find yourself without a job.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes go icy cold. “I would count that among my blessings.”</p><p>John starts in on a nasty tirade, but Dean slams the lid to his laptop closed. </p><p>His head drops into his hands and he sighs. It will never change. No matter how old Dean gets or how much he has to offer, his dad will always see him as a kid that he has to tame. He’ll never be satisfied until Dean is a functional clone of himself. He doesn’t understand why Sam is allowed so much freedom when Dean is allowed none.</p><p>“You are sad.” Castiel’s comment is more of a request than a statement.</p><p>“I’ll be fine, Cas. This isn’t the first time I’ve argued with him.</p><p>“Obviously. I can’t imagine you becoming this sad otherwise.”</p><p>Dean looks up to the side and leans his head on one hand. “You’re awfully insightful for someone who’s been checked out for most of human existence.”</p><p>“I owe you a debt of gratitude for that.”</p><p>Dean flushes at the compliment. “You don’t owe me anything, Cas.”</p><p>There is an awkward pause between them that Dean fills with an unspoken desire while he worries his plump bottom lip. Cas hears it drift through their connection and is eager to comply. He appears in front of Dean and receives a very suggestive smile. “Hey there, angel.”</p><p>Cas feels light and buoyant when Dean looks at him with such intensity. He is completely focused on Cas, and it feels…right. This isn’t an angelic feeling. When he was living in the heavens, amongst the other beings of his kind, he felt nothing. There’s no explanation for why things are different with Dean. Logically, he is the same being, albeit frozen. If anything, he should feel less than before, not more.</p><p>“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, Cas.” Dean admits quietly. His dreams the night before had been filled with images of Cas caught up with him in lust and pleasure. He woke up desperate for his angel, his hands gripped tight in the sheets instead of the body that he can’t touch. With nothing to do with that desire but push it away, he had forced himself into a chilly shower before making a hasty breakfast so that he could be with Cas.</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Dean. I misunderstood. I will leave you -.”</p><p>“No!” Dean stops him before he completely disappears. “Don’t go, please. It’s an expression. I meant that I can’t stop thinking about you.”</p><p>“Oh,” Cas replies. “That is a good thing?”</p><p>Dean flashes a toothy grin. “To me, it’s a great thing.”</p><p>“You respond very favorably to this body. I’m glad I chose it.”</p><p>“So am I, but it’s more than that. I’ve had a ridiculous crush on you even when all I had was your voice.”</p><p>“The feeling is quite mutual, my light.”</p><p>Dean aches to be able to solve this puzzle, to set Cas free. “We need to get you out of that prison.”</p><p>“I’m not going to argue with that, but how?”</p><p>Groaning, Dean scrubs over his face with both hands. “I haven’t a fucking clue.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>For the next several days, Dean works on the problem with singularity of purpose. Working alone most of the time, he is trying to will an answer into being by brute force. He’s not sleeping, eating junk convenience foods, and getting himself worked into a foul mood.</p><p>“Dean, come sit with me for a while,” Cas says from outside the cabin. Dean opens the door and sees his angel sitting at the table. Reluctantly, he leaves his work behind and sits. Cas gestures to his guitar, which had been left there forgotten. </p><p>“Why don’t you play something for me?” </p><p>Dean takes in the beatific, peaceful look on Cas’s face. Something isn’t right, but he’ll indulge his angel. “What would you like to hear?”</p><p>“Anything, Dean. I don’t know your music.”</p><p>He flicks his eyes up to meet the vibrant blue as he settles his hands against the strings and strums a chord. “Which is a travesty. Once I get you out of that hunk of rock, we’re going to rectify that.”</p><p>Dean catches the flinch in Cas’s body when he mentions freeing him. He really has a terrible poker face, but he supposes that comes from not having a body. All the same, he senses what Cas is trying to avoid.</p><p>Dean stops the vibration of the strings harshly. “I’m not giving up, Cas.”</p><p>Cas leans forward, pleading. “You aren’t taking care of yourself. This is becoming an obsession, and it isn’t healthy.”</p><p>“I can’t leave you in there, Cas. I can’t stop searching for a way, not when I might be able to get you out.”</p><p>“Dean, I don’t want you to put too much hope into the idea that I can be freed. None of my friends were freed. They have all died. The race that put me here came from another dimension where the laws of your physics don’t necessarily apply.”</p><p>The human shakes his head, denying the logic of Castiel’s words. “Don’t give up, Cas. Please. I need you to fight.”</p><p>Seeing the tears in Dean’s eyes forces him to relent. He can’t be the cause of his sadness. “Okay. Okay. I won’t give up, Dean.”</p><p>They sit in contemplation, stealing glances at each other, until Dean asks, “Can you move your body, your being, inside of the stone?”</p><p>“No. It’s as if I’m frozen.”</p><p>“But your consciousness is free.”</p><p>Cas, in his projected form, simply lifts a brow in response.</p><p>“Okay, okay. Bear with me, I’m trying to narrow things down.”</p><p>Cas smiles when Dean runs into the cabin to grab his laptop, his focus completely shifted into researcher mode yet again. Sooner or later, he’s going to have to deal with both Dean’s heartbreak and his own. He’s going to have to make the impossibility of their situation obvious to Dean, and bear witness while it crushes his beautiful and stubborn love. </p><p>He recognizes that Dean loves him, too. It is obvious in the looks he gives, in the insistence on freeing him despite there being no evidence that it is possible. He feels the love emanating from Dean whenever they speak, and he hears him whisper it in his dreams.</p><p>He yearns to reach out and run his fingers through Dean’s hair, wants to plant a soft kiss against his lips, but that might never be possible. While he is still praying for the impossible to happen, he doesn’t hold out much hope. His prayers have gone unanswered for millenia, both before and after his capture. What are the chances that happiness is within his grasp?</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. We're Done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dean?”</p><p>“Hmm?”  Cas has been staring at the side of his head for close to an hour. He’s been building a circuit board out of tiny components for some reason that he didn’t bother to fully explain to Cas. The soldering tool he’s using is causing a weird flurry of smoke to puff up between his hands. Narrowing his eyes, Cas realizes that there’s just one thing that will rip Dean’s attention away from his task.</p><p>“What does a blow job feel like?”</p><p>The fumble and crash of tweezers and soldering iron would have been comical if Cas wasn’t already on edge. Dean’s eyes move to his. Cas isn’t fond of the protective eyewear he uses when soldering because they hide his face, but Dean flings them away carelessly before he can suggest it himself. His human stands and approaches predatorily. He turns the chair Cas’s spirit inhabits roughly, making him face Dean. Cas has to look up at him, and the disparity in height makes something squeeze in a chest that isn’t really there.</p><p>“What made you think of that, Cas?” Dean’s voice is low and purring, a tone that only comes out when he is aroused.</p><p>“You, of course.”</p><p>A quick smirk flickers on his lips and his pupils dilate. “Would you like me to describe it for you?”</p><p>Cas finds himself out of breath as Dean kneels in front of his chair. “Spread those thighs, angel.”</p><p>Without hesitation, Cas opens his legs wide. When there is room enough, Dean inches forward. He puts his hands on the arms of the chair to keep them out of Cas’s way. Leaning up toward Cas’s face, he asks quietly, “Do you remember how it felt when I was stroking my cock for you?”</p><p>Cas lets out a whimpered assent and nods, his entire being focused on Dean. </p><p>“Now, picture adding this feeling to it,” Dean commands and then he sucks two of his fingers deep into his mouth. Cas is in his head without realizing that he’s made the decision. The wet warmth is enough to pull a sound of desire from him. Then, Dean adds the stroking of his tongue and sweet suction. Cas’s eyes cross with the pleasure of it. </p><p>“Dean…oh, please.”</p><p>“I know, right? It’s good. It’s so good.”</p><p>Cas looks down at him and seeing his gorgeous Dean at his feet makes him feel powerful in a way he’s never experienced. </p><p>“Lose the clothes, Cas.” Dean is commanding and sure of himself, and it is insanely hot. Cas can’t believe that his cock is hard. It really shouldn’t be possible for him in this state. When Dean notices, his grin spreads. </p><p>“Damn, I wish you could feel my touch. I would blow your mind right now.” Dean licks his lips and tells Cas to hold his erection out and still. </p><p>It is killing Dean to have Cas so close and still be out of reach. He can put his mouth around Cas’s most intimate parts, but not feel the silk of his skin, not catch his scent. It’s utter torture. He rubs his palm against his own erection, trying to quell some of the raging desire burning in his blood.</p><p>Up close, Dean describes exactly how he would take Cas apart. “If you were here, I would lick and suck along your shaft, rubbing my tongue firmly across your frenulum.”</p><p>“My what?” comes the gasping response. Dean looks up at him while he moves his hand into his shorts to pull his straining cock out.  </p><p>Thumbing along the underside of the head, he says, “That…is your frenulum.”</p><p>Cas goes slack in the chair and nods his understanding. “I like that part.”</p><p>“Then, I would roll your balls around gently in one hand while I slid your cock deep into my mouth.” Dean mimics the movements on himself, one hand squeezing in a fist around his head and slowly slipping down. </p><p>“Fuck, Dean!” Cas grips the back of the chair with hands that aren’t really there. The sound of his angel cursing and lost in lust makes him mightily pleased. </p><p>“Yeah, baby. Tell me all about it,” Dean encourages as he picks up a pace of lewd strokes. </p><p>“I want you…so much.” Cas moans as he fights the urge to reach out to Dean. “I need to feel you.”</p><p>“I know,” Dean pants, jerking himself while watching the beautiful muscles of Cas’s body twist and buck against nothing. “I would give anything to get my mouth on you, sweetheart.”</p><p>Cas’s uncut cock is bobbing just an inch or so from his face, and it’s making his mouth water. When Cas looks down, Dean sticks out his tongue, laying it flat beneath him. Cas hisses in an agonized breath. “Yes, that would feel so perfect.”</p><p>“Mmm,” he agrees. He pulls back to lick his lips. “I’ll bet you taste so sweet.”</p><p>“How do they end?” Cas pants.</p><p>“Several ways, and I want to show you every one.” Dean is losing the rhythm, close to the climax already. He’s pretty sure that just watching Cas be pulled under by what he’s feeling would be enough to make him come. The sight is breathtaking.</p><p>“You could come on my body. Anywhere you want.” Dean smiles to see Cas searching him for the right spot. </p><p>“But I’d really like it if you came in my mouth and let me swallow you down.”</p><p>The sound coming from his angel is downright sinful. “You like that idea too. Good.”</p><p>“Dean, are you close?”</p><p>“Yeah, I wish you could come with me.”</p><p>“I’ll feel it.”</p><p>“Fuck, Cas,” Dean hisses as he pictures this stunning creature feeling what he’s feeling. He is vulnerable here, on his knees with his mind wide open to the angel. He can’t help but feel what he feels, regardless of how ridiculous it might be.</p><p>Cas meets his eye and says, “I know, Dean. I feel it. I love you, too.”</p><p>Dean’s body seizes up with the shock, the surprise pushing him over the edge into orgasm. His brain is screaming to respond to Cas, but all he can do is moan through the initial spurts of come. </p><p>He hears Cas laugh. It’s a kind, gentle laugh, but it still makes Dean look up. “You forget that I hear your thoughts when I’m in your head.” </p><p>Dean flushes a bright crimson. “I don’t know how you can love a pitiful human, but I am eternally grateful.”</p><p>“There’s nothing pitiful about you, my love.”</p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Time moves steadily on, and winter descends on the bayou. Dean is no closer to finding a way to release Cas than he was on the day he returned from another dimension. In the back of his mind, he is starting to lose hope. It is getting close to time to admit that Cas was right. He isn’t going to rescue his angel. </p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>He looks across the table to see the face he adores. “Enjoy the time we have.”</p><p>That is one of the innumerable reasons that he loves Cas. He always knows when Dean’s getting lost in the probable future, and he inevitably brings him back to the present, asking only that he be with him. He has no expectation that Dean should be working on solving the problem of his imprisonment. He would rather they play chess together or listen to Dean read or play his guitar. </p><p>He nods and is about to shut his laptop when a Skype window pops up. It’s Sam, and he hasn’t talked to the kid in weeks. He looks up at Cas with a raised brow, and he nods his permission to answer while he’s there. </p><p>“Heya, Sam.”</p><p>“Hi, Dean.” Sam sounds somber. That probably isn’t a good sign. </p><p>“What’s up, man?”</p><p>“I, uh. I wanted to tell you that dad is looking for your replacement.”</p><p>While it’s something that he thought he wanted, it still pisses him off. “Are you fucking serious?”</p><p>“What did you think was going to happen, Dean? You’ve been gone for months. You told him that you didn’t want to come back to your old job.”</p><p>“That’s not exactly what I said, but semantics.”</p><p>Sam huffs in the way that Dean remembers from when Sam was a kid. It makes him want to laugh and shove all of this work nonsense away. When was the last time they talked about Sam’s life? When was the last time they talked about Eileen? Are they trying to have kids yet? Dean is shocked to think that he works with his only brother and he doesn’t really know anything about his life outside of the office. </p><p>Before he can mention these thoughts to his brother, Sam turns the direction of their conversation into a dark place. “Honestly, Dean, I think this is for the best.”</p><p>“Wait, what?”</p><p>“Well, you haven’t really been yourself for a long time, Dean. Maybe this break is a good thing.”</p><p>“What do you mean, I haven’t been myself?”</p><p>The hesitant pause sets his teeth on edge. C’mon, Sam. Spit it out. “Some of the projects you’ve taken on have been bizarre, Dean.”</p><p>“I’m looking for new methods of travel, Sam. Would it make sense to look at the things that already work?”</p><p>“The hydrogen project made sense, but the others…and what you’re doing now? It’s straight up crazy.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head. He’s not surprised to hear his dad’s thoughts parroted back at him through his brother. He’s often thought that Sam was a puppet for John Winchester to use to control him. </p><p>“You don’t have a clue of what I’m working on, Sam. Don’t pretend that you do.”</p><p>“Well, why don’t you explain it to me?”</p><p>“I tried before. You dismissed it.”</p><p>“You were serious about that?” Dean is glad there is a screen between them. Otherwise, he would have punched his little brother right in the face for being a smug prick.</p><p>“Yes, and I’m making progress.”</p><p>“Toward what end?” Dean clenches his hands off screen, knowing that he can’t reveal any more to his brother without exposing everything about Cas. He looks away, anger painting his skin a regretful red.</p><p>“Dean, when was the last time you dated?” Sam asks it quietly, like he doesn’t want to rile up his lunatic brother, but the fact that it even comes up snaps the last straw.</p><p>“This has nothing to do with Devin,” he snaps, and can’t help but meet Cas’s eyes over the top of the screen. His angel’s brow is furrowed. He taps the side of his head and pushes thoughts to Cas. “We’ll talk about it in a minute.”</p><p>Cas nods and Dean looks back at his brother, who is now looking suspicious. “Who are you talking to, Dean?”</p><p>“What? I’m not. The only company I have is my alligator.”</p><p>“Your…who were you gesturing to?”</p><p>“No one.” Dean pushes more thoughts to Cas, hoping he is still listening. “Would he be able to see you?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Doubtful. I’m projecting directly to you.”</p><p>“You’re doing it again, Dean.”</p><p>“Sam, look!” He spins the computer screen around to face the bayou, including the statue in the distance. When he turns it back around, he asks, “You happy now?”</p><p>Sounding downtrodden, Sam says, “Dean. Come home.” </p><p>With all earnestness, Dean pleads, “I can’t believe that you’d rather think me crazy than take a chance that I might be onto something. We grew up together, Sam. You know me. Why can’t you just try to believe me?”</p><p>“Stop this craziness and come home. Get some help.”</p><p>Dean is furious when Sam disconnects their call. He stands up abruptly, his chair skittering back against the cabin. Pacing over to the side of the porch, he tugs at his hair and lets out a primal scream. </p><p>Cas jumps at the rage his human releases in and outside of his body. When it ends, he slumps where he stands. </p><p>“Sorry,” he says quietly.</p><p>“It’s okay, Dean.”</p><p>“Why couldn’t you just be a sexy guy I met at the grocery store?” Dean asks with a self-critical laugh. “Why in the hell did I have to fall for an angel who I can’t ever touch?”</p><p>Cas looks down and away, sensing that Dean needs to release more ire. His sadness isn’t important right now. He knew that Dean would need to let go of his hope someday; he wanted him to. He just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. While Dean still believed, so did Cas in a small way. Hearing Dean confirm his hopeless state makes it a thousand times more real. </p><p>Dean turns and pounds on the wall of the cabin with his bare fists. He shouts and curses until blood runs down and around his wrists. Leaning against the wall, he mutters, “I wish I could show them. I wish I could use the portal and blow their narrow little minds. I could be the leader in this field, in the entire scientific community, with a discovery like this.”</p><p>Cas aches to see Dean in such pain. If he was in his body, he could heal his injuries with a thought. While he can’t do that, he does have the power to give Dean what he wants. </p><p>“It would make you happy to have this great discovery? To prove to your family that you’re not crazy?”</p><p>Dean nods and snarls, “It would feel so good to rub my success in their perfidious faces.”</p><p>Cas can’t take back this knowledge once it is given. Once humanity knows the secret to using angels as portals, he will be destroyed. He is the only Seraphim left on earth, and with each horrifyingly painful jump, part of his grace burns away. He might last a year or two, but he’ll die just like the rest of his kind.</p><p>It will be worth it to Castiel. He has the choice of being locked in this prison for all eternity, or giving Dean the knowledge he seeks and die for his one and only love. There’s no question what he will choose. He calls to Dean. “If it will make you happy, I will tell you what you need to know to use the portal.”</p><p>“Wait. You know how they work?”</p><p>“I know how to use them, not how or why they work using my power.”</p><p>Dean scowls. “Why are you just telling me now? I’ve been trying to discover how to use them since before you first talked to me.”</p><p>Cas swallows around his disappointment. No matter how Dean reacts, Cas still chose this path because he loves Dean and wants him to be content in his life without him. He wants him to have his revenge, if that’s what he chooses. He wants to lift him up into a position where he will have unheard of success, even if lifting Dean up pushes him under.</p><p>“I thought that you wanted to discover it on your own. I didn’t want to ruin the discovery for you.” Cas feels the sting of the lie, but it is worth it.</p><p>Dean slowly makes sense of what Cas is telling him. Portal travel is not only possible. He’s about to have the secret of how to use it without ending up 30 million light years away. His mind hits overdrive. He sees himself becoming an overnight sensation that will make Elon Musk look like a one hit wonder. He sees his father coming to him with his hat in his hand. He sees homes on every continent, perhaps even on other planets. </p><p>A wide, glittering grin appears. “Ruin it. Tell me how to work it.”</p><p>*****</p><p>Dean is ready to start his journey. Dean is going to show his family proof that they can’t deny. Cas has become quiet in the days leading up to his big reveal. Dean has insisted on practicing his portal jumps several times. He has to make sure that the real one, the one that matters, goes off without a hitch. He’s sure that Cas is just going to miss him while he’s gone, and that’s why he’s been so withdrawn.</p><p>Dean is ready to start his journey. Dean is going to show his family proof that they can’t deny. Cas has become quiet in the days leading up to his big reveal. Dean has insisted on practicing his portal jumps several times. He has to make sure that the real one, the one that matters, goes off without a hitch. He’s sure that Cas is just going to miss him while he’s gone, and that’s why he’s been so withdrawn.</p><p>“What should I name it?”</p><p>“Name what?” Cas replies from his place on the porch. He has been sitting on the floor, hanging his legs over the edge since Dean started his preparations. </p><p>“The portal. I was thinking something catchy like ‘Winchester Gate’.”</p><p>The look on Cas’s face makes Dean take a step back. “Okay, that’s not a good one. How about ‘Port Chester’?”</p><p>“Dean,” Cas is exasperated. Having Dean here reveling in the very thing that is going to destroy him is crushing him. It feels like such a betrayal, but Dean doesn’t know anything about what his gift will cost the angel. He only knows what Cas has told him, and Cas isn’t going to make him feel guilty for taking what he offered.</p><p>“You don’t want to miss your window.”</p><p>“Right,” Dean bounces away to make last minute adjustments. He stops in front of the laptop and opens the Skype app. </p><p>“Oh, hey. Will you come here for a minute?” Cas turns to look back at him. He isn’t sure how he trudges in a spirit form, but he manages it. </p><p>“Thank you, Cas. Really. This is important information, and I appreciate you sharing it with me.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, Dean.” Cas takes a long, last look at his lovely human. First at his beautiful face, and then at the radiant soul beneath.  </p><p>“Are you staying to watch?” Dean winks. </p><p>Cas looks away. “No, I think I’ll sit this one out.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. Well, I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>Tears are in Cas’s eyes when he turns back. “Goodbye, Dean.”</p><p>Then he’s gone. </p><p>Dean’s brow furrows. He’s going to miss Cas, too, but it will only be for a few days. For someone who’s lived since the beginning of time, a few days shouldn’t cause that kind of drama. He shrugs it off. He has to catch his dad and Sam while they are in their weekly board meeting. He’ll talk to Cas later.</p><p>He opens the call to his dad’s office and smirks when his father squints into the screen. “What in the hell are you doing, Dean? We’re about to step into a meeting. You know, the one that you’re supposed to attend?”</p><p>“Well, I thought I would sit in on this one. I can be on video conference.”</p><p>John’s face is halfway to apoplectic. He yells for Sam and gestures toward the screen. He only hears the words “handle it” before his father walks away to press the flesh with his cronies.</p><p>“Dean, what is this?” his brother asks. </p><p>“Just joining the meeting, Sam. I can’t be there physically, so I’m conferencing in. I’d think that you’d appreciate the modernization.”</p><p>Sam rolls his eyes and moves the laptop into the conference room and puts it in the corner of the table next to him. He’s sure that the proximity is just to make sure that if things get out of control, he can shut Dean down quickly.</p><p>The meeting is called to order like it is every week, and already Dean is bored. He can’t believe that this is the world that he belonged to for years, and that he was contemplating going back to. Before Cas. He smiles and feels a pang of happiness simmer through him. As soon as he has clinched his spot as visionary, and made his dad and brother eat crow, he’s on his way back home.</p><p>Once the meeting is well under way, Dean interrupts. “Excuse me. I’m sorry. I think it might be better if I attend in person.”</p><p>“Dean,” Sam warns with his teeth gritted.</p><p>“No, it’s okay. I’ll be there in just a minute.”</p><p>“Aren’t you still in Louisiana, son?” his dad asks pointedly. Dean is sure that he’s trying to build a case against his sanity so that it’s easier to fire him.</p><p>“Yes, but I have perfected a new mode of transportation. I’m about two miles from the Gulf of Mexico, but I can be in the conference room with you in just a minute.”</p><p>John leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “Now this I’ve gotta see.”</p><p>Sam whisper shouts to get his dad’s attention, but John just waves him off. Dean turns the laptop to face the statue. He waves to the conference room and then hops down into the boat which buzzes over to the statue too slowly for Dean’s taste. He’d swim if it weren’t for Clyde. Who knows where that pest has been hiding today.</p><p>When he gets within reach, he stops the boat and throws the anchor overboard away from the angel. He doesn’t want to have to buy a new one if it disappears into another dimension. </p><p>“Okay, Cas. Here we go.” He doesn’t feel the typical buzz of Cas in his mind, but he chalks it up to nerves. “I love you, angel. I’ll see you soon.”</p><p>Before he can make contact, he hears what can only be described as a heartbreaking sob. He can’t think about it for long, though, because the instant his hands connect with the statue, the sway of the boat becomes a solid floor.  </p><p>All around him, there is a whirlwind of movement and a cacophony of noise. Men jump up from their chairs, papers are dropped, glasses get knocked over. Through it all, Sam sits frozen, his jaw hanging open.</p><p>“That’s right. You should have believed me, you fucker.” Dean chastises his brother and then commands the room. “Sorry for the dramatic entrance, but I needed to shake things up. Now that I have your attention, I think we have some things to talk about.”</p><p>Dean catches the look on his father’s face, and it makes him wish that he had a camera. He is gobsmacked, flabbergasted. It is a beautiful thing to render John Winchester speechless. He doesn’t even interrupt when Dean continues the meeting without his input. </p><p>When Dean moves the laptop out of his reserved seat, he sees the camera still focused on the angel statue. He’s already missing Cas. He isn’t sure why he didn’t want to witness Dean’s victory, but he is definitely not with Dean right now. It concerns him, but this is not the time to check in with him. He has an audience that will be hanging on his every word waiting to hear him begin.</p><p>“Alright, gentlemen. Let’s discuss the future.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t build more portals, Zach. There is only one still functioning. The idea is to copy the technology so that we can make our own.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, why don’t we just keep using this one? With such a short supply, we could charge truly exorbitant rates to use it.”</p><p>“I don’t feel comfortable with that,” Dean reiterates. He’s been shocked at quite a few of their ideas. He’s skirted away from some of them, and outright balked at others. “I’m not going to put the statue at risk like that.”</p><p>“You seem overly connected to this statue. Are you trying to hoard its powers?”</p><p>“No, don’t be ridiculous.”</p><p>“Then why can’t we break it into smaller pieces and create other portals?”</p><p>“Because we don’t know if that will destroy it. Why would you risk that?”</p><p>“Well, the first thing we need to do is bring the statue here to the lab.”</p><p>“No, we’re not moving it.” Just the thought of locking Cas away in the lab has him seeing red. </p><p>He isn’t sure why he believed that these men would be reasonable, that they would take his demonstration as proof, and work with him to create a bold future for transportation. </p><p>He shouldn’t have brought this knowledge here. They will exploit and take until there’s nothing left. He swallows hard. </p><p>“This was a mistake.” He stands and makes his way toward the door, only to be stopped by his father. </p><p>“Now just wait a minute, son. You were right to bring this unique resource to us. Don’t let old Zach’s greedy nature put you off.” John rested a soothing hand against Dean’s shoulder, his mouth full of pearly white, smiling teeth.</p><p>It might have worked, this slick used car salesman voice. It really might have, if Dean hadn’t grown up with John. “Now you call me son?”</p><p>Watching his father’s face fall is almost as good as the shock from earlier. Dean shakes his head, pushes the hand from his body and grabs the door handle.</p><p>“We could just take it from you,” his father snarls in his ear. Dean shoves him against the door with his forearm at his throat. </p><p>“You will never take him from me,” Dean grits through his teeth, his body shaking with aggression and adrenaline.</p><p>“Him?” John asks with a raised brow. “Are you really so lonely that you have a hard-on for a hunk of rock?”</p><p>Dean pushes harder against John’s neck. “Shut your fucking mouth.”</p><p>The snide look on his father’s face makes something in him snap. This man is supposed to love him. He’s supposed to want the best for him, and yet time and time again, John Winchester has done nothing but put him down, push him away, and laugh at his failures. How could he believe that this is what love looks like?</p><p>“He is an angel, an honest to god heavenly creature.”</p><p>Dean is aware that the entire room shifts with that admission. They went from thinking of him as a genius, back to believing him crazy. Just like that. No loyalty, no trust, no faith.</p><p>“I won’t let you hurt him.”</p><p>“Yet, you brought him here as a sacrificial lamb to get the validation and acclaim that you seek. How far were you willing to go to get it, Dean?”</p><p>The quiet question has all the more impact for it being asked in an unimposing way. Sam is wiser than his years, and he always has been. The air is punched from his lungs, and his head is reeling with the realization that Sam is right. Suddenly lost, he looks to his brother. He doubts that Sam believes he is talking about an actual angel, that he believes they are discussing a man. All the same, he is more concerned with Dean’s part in this scheme and the deleterious effects it will have on him.</p><p>“You’re right. He offered this to me and I just…took it.” Shame swallows him whole. He drops his head and John takes the opportunity to shove him away.</p><p>“You aren’t seriously believing this angel nonsense, are you, Sam?”</p><p>“Doesn’t matter. Dean believes it.” </p><p>It’s the first time that Sam has stood up to his father in any capacity. He receives a look that could melt steel in return. Sam just clears his throat and looks away. Okay, so that didn’t last long, but it’s still a start.</p><p>“Thank you, Sam,” Dean says before he turns to leave.</p><p>“We aren’t done with this negotiation.” John grips his arm and jerks him around to face him. Dean uses the momentum to put serious power into his fist. It connects with John’s jaw and he drops like a stone. Fitting.</p><p>“Yes, we are.”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Can't Look Away</h2></a>
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    <p>In his rental car, Dean is hardly paying attention to traffic. He’s too busy trying to get Cas to respond. </p><p>“C’mon, angel. Please don’t shut me out,” he pleads again. When no reply comes, Dean slams his hand down on the steering wheel with a vile curse.</p><p>He can’t blame Cas. Dean professed to love him, and then he took the one thing Cas could offer, and he took it for his own selfish gain. Thinking back on it now, it makes Dean sick. Dean was offering Cas up as an experimental guinea pig. How could he have gotten everything so twisted up?</p><p>“Cas, please. Just answer me. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Cas wouldn’t cut off communication with him if he was just angry. He’d be lighting up all the neurons in his brain, berating him for being an idiot. He knows this because it’s happened once or twice already. Okay, at least a dozen times, but the point remains. This silence goes deeper than anger. </p><p>Cas is hurt. He must be. Dean used him. “Fuck. I’ve completely ruined this.” </p><p>He’s never been in such a hurry to get somewhere and so frustrated by how slow human technology is. He laughs bitterly at the irony. </p><p>Hurt. Wait. Dean pulls the car over on the side of the road. Using the portal isn’t just using Cas’s power. He’s held immobile. He’s being forced to be used as a conduit. What energy is it taking from Cas? From their conversations, he can only assume it’s his grace, his life force.</p><p>“Oh, god,” he says with dread, horror at his actions follows close behind. He can’t keep the bile down this time. He launches himself out of the car and falls to his hands and knees. The sickness erupts from him. and for the first time in his life, he doesn’t wish it away. He deserves this.</p><p>Dean has been hurting Cas, over and over again, and he just let him. Why? What would possess him to let Dean have the power to destroy him and not tell him?</p><p>“Oh, no, Cas.” His head drops to the ground in supplication. “Oh, angel. Don’t give up.” </p><p>His stomach empty, his heart broken, there’s nothing left for him but the weeping. </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean is exhausted and his sides ache. Calling him wrung out is a kindness. Still, he is disgusted with himself. There isn’t anything he can do to make it up to Cas except go back to the bayou, fall on his knees, and beg for his forgiveness.</p><p>Actually, there is one thing that he could do for Cas. He could actually solve this puzzle and give the angel his freedom. </p><p>He drives through the afternoon, past sunset, and into deep night with only the music on the radio for companionship. His mind doesn’t drift from its purpose even once. He’s approached this problem from several angles, but he’s never contemplated that it might be his grace that was powering the portal. From a biological standpoint, he must be made of cells, or photons, or a similar building block. Those cells require energy to function. If grace is being tapped, it might be that the cells are frozen because they are deprived of their energy.</p><p>Dean jerks awake from his lengthy contemplation. That’s it! Cas isn’t trapped because of the stone, he’s trapped because he is devoid of the energy that must fill his body for him to function. Dean whoops and hollers and bangs his free hand on the roof of the compact car, celebrating the huge breakthrough.</p><p>It’s so simple, so elegant of a problem, that Dean experiences a reluctant respect for its creators. It’s quickly replaced by the need to resolve it. What kind of energy would a celestial being need to temporarily power up its cells? Power. Hmm. He has an idea.</p><p> </p><p>It turns out to be a bad one. Well, it’s a brilliant idea, but the execution is not exactly flawless. </p><p>His back seat is filled with defibrillators, stolen from a closed medical supply store. He might be a clueless, selfish asshole, but he draws the line at stealing life-saving equipment from a hospital.</p><p>Apparently, the local police aren’t as impressed with his ethical stance. He has a few cruisers following him, bathing him in the red and blue of guilt. He’s heading for the nearest Louisiana town because there’s no way he’s going to lose them on an open straight away.</p><p>“Uh, Cas? Castiel? If you’re listening, I want you to know that I think I’ve figured out a way to free you. It involves electrical jolts of energy flooding your being to jump start normal energy production. Now, this will only work if your body uses something like ATP, which I don’t know if it does or not.” Dean notices one of the cruisers creeping along his left side, trying to gain the advantage and probably force him off the road. He steps on the gas, eeking out enough speed to get ahead of the other vehicle and force him back. </p><p>“Never mind. I can explain that later. Right now, I need a miracle. I’m in some trouble with the law, and if I don’t get away, it might be a few years before I can get back to free you because I’ll be locked up myself.”</p><p>There’s no answer, no inkling that Cas heard him at all. </p><p>“Here’s my Hail Mary pass, literally,” Dean says. “Dear Castiel, I pray to you for your assistance. I’m either going to get in a wreck or be taken to jail in the next few minutes, and I want you to know what my idea is for freeing you just in case I don’t make it out of this mess alive. Maybe someday, someone else will come to see you and you can ask them to-”</p><p>The car suddenly does a nose dive through the water and into the muddy ground  that wasn’t there a millisecond ago. The airbag deploys, smacking him in the face, but keeping his head out of the dash. Around him, bubbles of air are escaping the not air tight cabin, and for every ‘glub, glub, glub’ they make, water pours into the car. </p><p>Looking around, Dean sees his shitty little cabin and he’s never been so happy to see anything in his life.</p><p>“Cas?” he calls immediately as he tries to roll down the window. Of course, he can’t make it budge, but he keeps yelling for Cas.  The other window is equally useless, so he looks up and sees the sun roof. Raising his foot up to the ceiling, he kicks the small pane of glass out of the way. When he pops up through the roof, he sees Cas’s spirit on his porch, his arms crossed over his chest, and a look of overwhelming sorrow on his face. </p><p>As soon as they make eye contact, all of Dean’s words, everything that he wants to tell Cas, comes flooding out. He’s in a panic that he won’t get to say everything before Cas disappears again. </p><p>“Cas, I’m so sorry. I was stupid and selfish. I didn’t stop to think about what I was doing, what it would mean for you.”</p><p>“Well, what’s done is done.”</p><p>Dean shakes his head, and climbs out onto the roof. “No, I didn’t give them anything. Well, almost anything. Nothing they can use anyway.”</p><p>“You’ve been gone for almost a day.”</p><p>“Cas, it takes almost that long to travel from there by car.”</p><p>Cas drops his arms, which is as close to an invitation as Dean is likely to get. </p><p>“Hold on, don’t go anywhere.”</p><p>Dean dives into the water, hoping that he isn’t about to go from surviving a car wreck to becoming alligator chow. He pulls himself up onto the porch in record time. He’s sloshing around in his clothes and he is fairly certain there are water grasses and algae tucked into some fairly uncomfortable crevices, but he’s closer to Cas now. </p><p>His angel has never looked this pissed off, and Dean hesitates to speak. With eyes of blue flame, perfect jaw biting back curses, Cas advances on him. “Did you really just tell me not to go anywhere?”</p><p>“Uh, I -”</p><p>“Me? A Seraphim who’s been trapped in stone for 10,000 years?”</p><p>The blood drains out of Dean’s face. “Oh fuck. Cas, I’m such an idiot.”</p><p>“Yes, you are. I really want to push you off this porch and call Clyde.”</p><p>Dean looks down at his feet. “I deserve it. I can’t -”</p><p>He stops speaking when he hears the most delightful sound in the world. Cas is laughing. Not a huff of amusement, not a little chuckle. His head is thrown back and he’s belly laughing.</p><p>“Don’t go anywhere!” he manages in between bouts of laughter. Dean’s face is going to have whiplash from draining and filling with blood so fast. Dean grins through his embarrassment. It’s amazing to see his angel so happy, even if it is at his expense. </p><p>When Cas finally gets a hold on himself, Dean asks him earnestly, “Why didn’t you tell me, Cas? I never would have done anything to hurt you.”</p><p>Gentle honesty is in his answer. “It would have been something good that I could do for you. There aren’t a lot of things that I can give you or do for you from here.”</p><p>“I would rather have you than any amount of fame or fortune.”</p><p>“Even more than putting your dad in his place?”</p><p>Dean lifts his brows and worries the corner of his lip. “Well, I did get to do that.”</p><p>“You did?”</p><p>“Yeah, I put him out cold on the floor.”</p><p>Cas is proud of Dean. He isn’t a violent being by nature, but there are times when it is appropriate, and considering the vitriol that he’s heard John Winchester spew at his son, he’s fairly certain that this was one of those times. He’s just sorry that he didn’t see it for himself. </p><p>“Can I?” he asks and taps his temple. Dean nods with a grin. Cas answers with a maniacal smile when he sees the exchange through Dean’s memories.</p><p>“You’ve got a vindictive streak, don’t you, Cas?” he jokes. </p><p>“Only when abusive assholes mess with people I love.”</p><p>“That’s a highly specific list, angel.”</p><p>Cas hums and tilts his head. “Are you going to tell me why you were running from law enforcement?”</p><p>Dean tucks a hand into his jeans pocket, only to withdraw some slimy algae. He shakes it off onto the porch and asks, “Can I shower first?”</p><p>His eyes go comically wide when he remembers, “Oh shit! The defibrillators!”</p><p>*****</p><p>Luckily, the car went into the water at an angle that kept them above the waterline and dry. Dean had to swim for the boat, which was still where he’d left it, and then retrieve all of the portable electrical devices. Cas isn’t sure what his human has planned, but he’s going to trust that he knows what he’s doing. It’s not like the statue came with a manual.</p><p> While Dean is in the shower, Cas’s attention is split between listening to his words as he explains his plan and watching his body. He follows the heavy beads of water that flow down his back and then over the luscious curves of his ass. He’s picked up little snippets from Dean’s mind about penetrative sex, and Cas is incredibly interested. He knows this isn’t the time to discuss it, but he can’t help but be curious. Would Dean-</p><p>“Cas!” </p><p>The angel jumps and focuses his attention on Dean’s face, which is looking rather huffy and smug.</p><p>“Were you listening at all?”</p><p>He shrugs, “Halfway.”</p><p>Dean laughs and turns around. Instead of his ass, Cas gets a view of his sex, which just distracts him further. “That isn’t helping. Let’s hold off on the plan until you’re dressed.”</p><p>Dean rinses off and throws a towel around his hips again. He gets up close to his angel’s spirit before he murmurs, “Better?” </p><p>There’s a heat to Dean’s gaze that sets Cas aflame. “Having you close? It’s always better.”</p><p>Dean’s eyes roam over him, taking in every detail, and he does the same. </p><p>“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” Cas admits with a wobble in his throat.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean leans forward and reaches for him. The perfect image ripples like it’s made of water. He pulls his hand back and laces it with the other behind his head. </p><p>“Fuck! I hate this.”</p><p>The ripples lessen and then Cas is with him again. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine. It was just a disruption in the connection.”</p><p>“Do you think this plan will work?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Dean. But what can it possibly hurt to try?”</p><p> </p><p>*****  </p><p> </p><p>Dean has been working on taking the defibrillators apart and re-wiring them to work together for the entire day. He has already planted the tall posts into the bottom of the bayou, hammering them down with some truly impressive swings of the mallet. As an extra precaution, he added braces of wood so that none of the posts could slide from their mooring and fall into the statue.</p><p>“This is a lot of work for an experiment,” Cas observes from across the lab table. </p><p>“Electricity might not be deadly to you, but it is to me, so I need to be careful.” He sits back and wipes a hand over his mouth. “I don’t know how I’m going to set off this chain from the cabin, but being on the water while I’m using this kind of voltage? Not smart.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to do anything dangerous, Dean. Promise me.”</p><p>He holds out a placating hand. “I’m not going to be reckless, sweetheart. I don’t want to finally get you free only to die in an electrical accident.”</p><p>Cas wrinkles his nose. “That’s a terrible thought. Is that possible?”</p><p>“No, I’m not going to miss my opportunity to finally kiss those gorgeous lips.”</p><p>“Stop flirting and make sure that you’re safe.”</p><p>“Yes, sir,” he grins with a fond appreciation in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean’s solution to the distance issue is to build a structure of posts all the way to the cabin for the wires to attach to so that he’s not at risk of electrocuting himself or the entire bayou. He’s gone over the procedure numerous times, and they both feel that it’s as safe as possible.</p><p>“If this works, I don’t know what will happen with me. I might be released a little at a time, or it might be all at once. Humans can’t withstand looking directly at an angel, Dean.”</p><p>“I know, Cas. You’ve mentioned it once or twice.”</p><p>“Don’t be dismissive, my light. I have an entire list of examples of you doing careless things. You’re brilliant, but you lack sense sometimes.”</p><p>“I think you mean common sense.”</p><p>Cas scowls at him, “No, I said it right.”</p><p>Dean sticks his tongue out at him to make him smile. </p><p>“Okay. I think it’s time, Cas.”</p><p>They get as close as they can to each other, a mimic of a kiss. They can’t connect, but it still sends a thrill through Cas. “I hope this works.”</p><p>“You and me both, Cas.” Snapping himself out of the distracting closeness, Dean turns all business. “Why don’t you get back to yourself so that we don’t separate you.”</p><p>“I’ll see you on the other side, Dean.”</p><p>“Hey, how will I know you when I see you?”</p><p>“I’ll look just like this.”</p><p>Dean grins. “Yeah? You’re keeping this as your vessel? Good.”</p><p>Dean waits until Cas is gone before he powers up the array of defibrillators encircling the statue in very close proximity. They are as close as they can be without touching it and getting sent who knows where. He doesn’t let himself hope that this will work. It’s just another experiment in a long line of them. </p><p>“Here goes…” </p><p>When Dean clicks the key to discharge the electrical pulses, the entire sky goes brilliant white. He is glad that he had put on protective glasses and shut his eyes because even so, there are white tracer spots forming behind his lids. </p><p>A quaking starts in the vicinity of the statue that is rocking the cabin, but Dean isn’t going to open his eyes yet. Then, the sound starts. It’s a blood-rending scream that makes him cover his ears. </p><p>“Cas,” he reaches out with all of his senses, needing to verify that he is alright. The only response is a higher pitched sound of agony that shatters his laptop screen and a few windows. Just when the sound reaches a frequency that Dean can feel causing hemorrhages in his head, it stops. </p><p>There are a handful of seconds that pass, Dean’s heart beating so loud in his ears that he can’t determine if it’s over. And then suddenly, Dean is hit by a force that he can only equate to being knocked into the air by a moving car. He keeps his eyes shut, at least until he blacks out.</p><p> </p><p>Dean blinks awake and the first thing he realizes is that he’s looking up at the roof of his cabin. It’s daylight, which it hadn’t been when he was knocked out. Cas!</p><p>He sits up and has a difficult time making his vision make sense. The statue is gone. It’s not in pieces, it’s simply gone. There might be some debris under the water that he can’t see, but he doesn’t think so.</p><p>“Cas?!”</p><p>He looks around, in and outside of the cabin. There’s no sign of him. Dean stops moving, closes his eyes to concentrate. “Castiel? Can you hear me?”</p><p>Absolute, lonely silence.</p><p>Dean walks out to the porch and slouches into a seat. He puts his palms together and hangs his head while he prays. He prays with the fervor of a zealot, with the faith of a new convert, and with the desperation of the recently widowed.</p><p>He can’t be the instrument of Castiel’s destruction. That would be inhumanly cruel.  “Please,” he pleads with every fiber of his being. “Anything but that. Even if I can never see him again, let him live. I’m begging you.”</p><p>The fireflies are dancing in the distance, seeming to explore the new open area where the statue stood for ages. It would be beautiful if he wasn’t so lost. Cas would appreciate the view, which makes it all the more painful. The pristine little lights edge closer to him as the minutes pass, and soon they are mobbing the entire porch. They’ve never ventured anywhere near the cabin, so Dean can only take this as a sign. As the pin pricks flicker for him, he lets out the first sob. </p><p>His shoulders hunch more and more as he weeps into his hands, letting the pain of losing Cas roll out of him in waves. </p><p>He should have left it alone. He should have spent more time experimenting. If he hadn’t come here looking for shortcuts, Cas would still be alive. He feels the burden and responsibility descend on him, pushing him down with guilt and blame.</p><p>Behind him, he hears a flap of enormous wings as a gust of wind whooshes by him. He turns to see Cas, alive and buzzing with an energy Dean can feel from a distance. He stands  but refuses to take his eyes from the angel. </p><p>“Are you really here?”</p><p>“Yes, Dean. I was called back to heaven. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you.”</p><p>Dean takes cautious steps forward while Cas does the same. “You’re okay? That explosion scared the shit out of me.”</p><p>Cas offers a gentle smile as he takes another few steps. “I’m great. I’m better than I’ve ever been.”</p><p>“I thought-” Dean swallows down the emotion.</p><p>“I know, Dean. I heard your prayers. I’m so sorry that I scared you.”</p><p>Standing toe to toe, Dean can finally feel the heat of his angel’s body mixing with his own. He can feel his breath on his face. “Can I touch you?”</p><p>Cas responds by pulling Dean into a firm embrace. They sag into each other, burying their faces into each other’s necks. Dean moans at all of the sensory input he’s receiving. The scrape of stubble against his, the silky strands of hair sifting through his fingers, the strong hands holding him like he is the most precious thing in the world, the scent of sunshine, damp forest, and rich spices.</p><p>“You feel so good in my arms,” Dean murmurs before he realizes that Cas’s body is rigid and still against him. </p><p>“What’s wrong, Cas?” He shakes his head where it is buried against Dean’s neck. Dean pulls back just enough to see Cas’s face. His eyes are huge and fixed. His lips are parted. </p><p>“Take a breath, sweetheart.” </p><p>Cas meets his eyes and finally blinks. “This is overwhelming, Dean. There’s so much to pay attention to.”</p><p>“Let me give you some space,” Dean tries to step out of his reach, but Cas is having none of it. He pulls Dean back to his chest. </p><p>“I just got to touch you for the first time. Don’t leave me already.”</p><p>“Cas, I’m never leaving you, I just don’t want you to get overstimulated.” Cas lets go and lets Dean get about a foot away.</p><p>Dean cups his hand against his cheek, and Cas leans into it like a cat. “You’ve only had this body for a minute. It’s going to take some adjustment.”</p><p>“I never realized that every touch is different, but they all are wonderful in their own way.”</p><p>“I can be your guide, Cas. I’ll walk you through your senses.”</p><p>He nods, and rubs against Dean’s hand. Dean smiles at him, reaches for Cas’s hand and places it on his cheek to mirror his. “This is a caring touch. You wouldn’t do this with strangers. Nice, yes?”</p><p>“It’s intimate. Very nice.”</p><p>He runs his fingers through Cas’s hair next and his angel practically melts. “Just wait until I shampoo your hair. It’s heavenly.”</p><p>“Can’t I shampoo my own hair? You do.”</p><p>“It feels better when someone else does it.”</p><p>Dean continues to offer simple touches from running his hands down his arms reassuringly, to lacing their fingers together. They all tell a different part of their story, share a unique meaning.</p><p>“Can I kiss you, Cas? I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment you arrived on that bizarro world.”</p><p>“That’s not its name, Dean.”</p><p>“I know, but you told me that I don’t possess the vocal range to say its name.”</p><p>Cas clears his throat, determined to get back to the matter at hand. “Yes. Please.”</p><p>Dean moves ever so slowly. His long lashes drift shut as he enters Dean’s space. His full lips barely graze Cas’s before nudging them up just a bit. Then, they lean in for the softest, tenderest kiss. When he breaks it, Cas sighs.</p><p>“I love that I get to have all of your firsts, Cas. I’m a very lucky man.”</p><p>“I know there are lots of different kisses, too. Will you show them to me?”</p><p>Dean narrows his eyes at the angel. “Why do I feel like I’m getting played?”</p><p>“I don’t understand what that means.</p><p>“I think you do. I think you’re playing innocent so I’ll give you what you want.”</p><p>“You don’t want to kiss me?” The pouty lip confirms Dean’s guess. Cas is a lot better at playing human than he lets on. </p><p>In response, Dean plunders his mouth, aggressively taking and ramping up the intensity lightning quick. He licks into Cas’s mouth, and his angel groans at the contact. Nipping and sucking on Cas’s lips, he leaves them both breathless and filled with lust when he breaks away. Cas’s eyes are a blue-rimmed black, and he whimpers at the loss of contact. </p><p>“That is a passionate kiss. They can consume you and usually lead to more explicit sex.” Cas nods along dumbly, trying to pull his fried brain cells back into functional order.</p><p>“Shall I show you a butterfly kiss?”</p><p>Cas shakes his head while staring at Dean’s lips, which are settled in a smirk. Cas pulls him back in for another deep kiss, this time with him taking the helm. Dean adjusts the angle of their heads, but other than that, Cas is a quick study. Dean finds his knees going weak when Cas grips the short hair on the back of his head and pulls. A hiss slips out and Cas ceases everything full stop.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to-”</p><p>“Hey, hey, hey. Cas. It’s okay. I’m going to stop you right there, because that was a very happy sound.” Dean knows this is going to be a strange concept for the newly corporeal which is confirmed when confusion clouds Cas’s features. </p><p>“Pull on my hair again just like you did.” Cas complies and Dean projects his feelings. “Some people like a little pain during sex.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>Dean chuckles. “That might be advanced humaning. Let’s get the basics down first.”</p><p>“Dean, you know I’m not human.”</p><p>“I know, angel. But you’re in a human body, which is complicated and intricate and unique. What I liked about you tugging on my hair was that it felt like you were losing control, like you wanted me so much that you got carried away. That’s incredibly sexy.”</p><p>“Like that kiss?” Cas licks his lips and stares at Dean’s again. He tugs on Dean’s shirt hem, trying to lift it up, but Dean pulls his hands away.</p><p>“Yeah, Cas. Exactly like that. Later on, when we have some experience together, there will be times when we will get lost in wanting each other and we’ll have rough, frantic sex.”</p><p>Cas huffs out a breath. “Dean,” he whines. </p><p>“I know. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? But that isn’t today. You need to ease you into these experiences.”</p><p>“Why? I want you. I want you so much.” Cas is practically climbing his body as he tries to get Dean’s clothes off. </p><p>“What do you want?” Dean asks gently, which leaves Cas gaping and blinking at him. With a smile, Dean pushes his mouth closed with his index finger. </p><p>“That’s why, Cas. You haven’t experienced any of this before, so you don’t know what there is and what you like. I want to explore sexuality with you so that you get to know your body and mine. We’ll do whatever we decide to try and talk openly. Okay?”</p><p>Cas growls in frustration as he peels Dean’s shirt off. “Is this the way all couples start out?”</p><p>Dean laughs. “No, most couples don’t last because they don’t slow things down and get to know each other. Either one of them isn’t interested in talking, or they might be performing instead of feeling, or they’re too insecure to ask for what they want. Those are risks I’m not willing to take with you, okay?”</p><p>“But, this feeling is eating me alive, Dean. Don’t you feel it?” Cas is panting, crowding him against the wall. </p><p>“Of course I do, Cas. I just have years of experience with how to deal with desire.”</p><p>Dean blinks and Cas’s clothes are gone. He looks around baffled. </p><p>“They’re inside,” Cas comments.</p><p>“That’s a nifty party trick. Can you-”</p><p>Dean feels the breeze on his skin before he can finish the sentence. A lop-sided grin eases onto his face. “Why didn’t you do that in the first place?”</p><p>“I wanted to put my hands on you, Dean.” The human takes a deep, unsteady breath and lets his head drop back against the wall. Keeping his head isn’t as easy as he had hoped. Seeing the look of want on Cas’s face is cracking his resolve. </p><p>Turning to humor, he smirks. “Let’s go inside and you can put your hands anywhere you want. I don’t want mosquito bites in some of these exposed places.”</p><p>Dean opens the heavy metal door and guides Cas through it. He looks around as if it was the first time. The angel has been inside the cabin dozens of times, but it must seem so different now that he’s able to use all of his senses. Even in a human vessel, there is something ethereal and otherworldly about Cas. He seems to glow from within, his movements are graceful, and he is the most beautiful sight Dean has ever seen. </p><p>He wasn’t teasing Cas about wanting to go slow. Part of him really does. The rest of him? The rest of him is ready to throw Cas down on his bed and take him apart with just his hands and mouth. If his gorgeous angel presses him too hard, he isn’t sure that he will have the willpower to keep to his convictions. </p><p>As soon as he reaches Dean’s bed, Cas turns and Dean can’t help but take his mouth in a firm kiss. The angel’s hands wrap around his waist and pull their bodies together. Their shared body heat is calming and electrifying simultaneously. Lust ramps up like Dean is stepping on an accelerator instead of the breaks. Before he can pull back and settle himself down again, Cas shifts and rubs his cock against Dean’s, and they both melt into each other. </p><p>“Oh shit,” Cas whispers and thrusts against him again.</p><p>The breath blows out through Dean’s lips, along with a moan. Resting his head against Cas’s, they both breathe harshly. “We might have to take the edge off after all, Cas.”</p><p>“What-what does that mean?” Dean takes his hands and slides them up to his chest. </p><p>“Orgasm. Now.”</p><p>Cas hasn’t moved his hands from where Dean put them, so he guides them to roam over his skin. Finally, Cas takes the hint. </p><p>“Wasn’t that my idea?”</p><p>“Yes, but I didn’t account for how damn sexy you are when you’re wanting. I can’t wait.”</p><p>Cas growls and pushes him back onto the bed and crawls into his lap. Dean sits up and kisses him with abandon while he wraps himself around Dean. Chest to chest, Dean nuzzles into his jawline with his nose, lips dragging along his neck. There isn’t a part of Cas that isn’t his ideal. He is the epitome of desirable and Dean is lost to the perfection in his arms.</p><p>“Can I jack us off together?”</p><p>“Is that like what you did for me before?”</p><p>Dean takes Cas’s cock in his hand and the angel seizes up. When Dean strokes him with just the lightest of touches, Cas’ s mouth drops open. </p><p>“Oh, Dean.”</p><p>“It’s nice, but what about this?” Dean adds his own erection to Cas’s, the soft, slick foreskin rubbing along his head. It is sinfully good, and then Cas adds the motion of his hips to the equation. Everything feels more. Better. Fucking amazing.</p><p>“How long should it take to come?” Cas has thrown his head back, giving Dean unfettered access to the long column of his throat. Dean keeps kissing whatever skin he can reach, but murmurs, “There’s no determined time. It just happens when all the good feelings are triggered.”</p><p>“So how do you know how to make it happen?”</p><p>“It’s a lot of guesswork, repetition, and luck.”</p><p>Cas opens one eye with curiosity. </p><p>“I’m serious. But the goal isn’t to race to orgasm anyway.”</p><p>“What is the goal, then, Dean?”</p><p>“To enjoy each other. Aren’t you enjoying this?” Dean teases. </p><p>“I’m enjoying every touch, but especially your mouth. I’ve always had a thing for your mouth.”</p><p>“Yeah? What kind of thing?”</p><p>“A lust thing. Your lips are mesmerizing.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Dean hums, nipping at the thick tendon on his neck. “Have you thought about my lips wrapped around your cock, Cas?”</p><p>For the first time, the sound Cas makes isn’t melodic; it isn’t heavenly. It sounds like he’s actively choking on his tongue. Dean chuckles and flips Cas over, much easier when the angel isn’t fighting him at all. “Sit up against the pillows, sweetheart. I want you to watch.”</p><p>“Are you really…” Cas fades off as Dean drops kisses down his chest. </p><p>“Unless you don’t want me to?”</p><p>“Oh, Dean. Please.” The earnest yearning in his plea makes Dean smile. He descends slowly, touching every curve, absorbing every detail, dragging his lips lightly over every texture. One day, he will know Cas better than he knows himself. He’s looking forward to that, to having a complete inventory of his angel: what makes him tick and what takes him apart. But, this beginning is sweet too. He catalogs every shiver and whimper for future reference. </p><p>Dean might find all of Cas fascinating, but the arch of his hip bones is stunning. He loses himself in worshiping the angles with his fingertips and lips until Cas huffs in impatience and drags his head to the center of his belly.  </p><p>Laughing, he apologizes to his love. “I got a little distracted.”</p><p>“You can’t tempt me with that image and then make me wait, Dean. It’s cruel.”</p><p>“However can I make it up to you?” he looks up the long, lithe length of Cas’s body as he brushes his lips against the purple and straining head of his erection.</p><p>“Yes!” Cas shouts, pushing his hips up closer to Dean. </p><p>“Easy, Cas. You can’t do that when I have you in my mouth. You’ll choke me.”</p><p>Before Cas can reply, Dean circles the head with his tongue and then slides down to take him several inches deep, and all he can do is gasp. Dean caresses the underside of him as he pulls back up, making sure to add a little suction.</p><p>Checking in with Cas has him gasping in return. Debauchery has never looked so good. His hair is completely disheveled, his cheeks flushed, his eyes glassy, his lips parted as he pants.</p><p>“Yes,” Cas sighs when Dean takes him back in his mouth. Dean’s always been a fan of sucking cock, but having Cas like this is an entirely unique experience. He’s never focused so much on the other person’s pleasure, never wanted to give so completely of himself. </p><p>Aware that Cas hasn’t ever orgasmed before, he asks him to share what he’s feeling. As soon as Cas touches his mind, the intensity cranks up exponentially. Cas is close already and Dean has barely started. Pulling off delicately, he shushes Cas’s protests. </p><p>“You’re going to come really soon, so I don’t want you to fight it. It will be your instinct because it feels like losing control. Just let it happen. I’ve got you.”</p><p>Cas nods, his entire body heaving with his labored breathing. Dean can’t look away, knowing that he’s about to witness his Cas lost in orgasm. It’s what he’s been thinking about, dreaming about for months. It’s just as breathtaking as he imagined. Cas lets his head drop back as he pleads and begs for something that he doesn’t realize is an inevitability at this point. His sounds turn feral, his flush descends down to his chest, and finally, his back arches as he shakes through the release. </p><p>Dean barely registers that his mouth is filling; his senses are so full of Castiel, his angel. He swallows and suckles, taking care not to spill. Long after Cas has dropped back down to the mattress, replete and sated, Dean nuzzles and places gentle kisses to his sex. <br/>When Cas has had time to come down, Dean crawls up to lay beside him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I Can't Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cas has witnessed the birth of galaxies, watched the evolution of every species on earth, and can fly faster than the speed of light. This feeling, though, is beyond compare. His entire body, which both feels like his own and in some ways still feels foreign, is numb and delightfully prickly. His nerves are firing at an amazing rate, and he can feel hormones cascading into his bloodstream. With all of the action going on inside him, he feels remarkably at peace.</p><p>Laying here with Dean curled around him, giving him his devotion and care, is undeniably worth dying for. He would choose to be with him, despite the cost, each and every time the choice was given. </p><p>Thankfully, he didn’t have to make the choice. After being trapped and left for dead for eons, heaven was only too willing to let him fill his remaining days here on earth. He might have insinuated that it was the only way that he wouldn’t actively try to do damage to heaven, but still, he’s content that they didn’t put up the kind of fight they are notorious for.</p><p>“How are you feeling, angel?”</p><p>Cas focuses on Dean, which is harder than he would have thought possible. His eyes are as relaxed as the rest of him, unfocused and hazy in afterglow.</p><p>“So soft and floaty,” he mumbles. </p><p>Dean’s deep chuckle reverberates through his body, pulling a smile from him. “I’m glad.”</p><p>“Even after being there in your head when you orgasmed, I never would have believed that it could feel this good.”</p><p>Cas leans over to reach Dean’s lips and run fingertips over his cheekbones. He is so beautifully made. There isn’t anyone or anything in the universe that Cas would prefer to look at. </p><p>It strikes him that Dean is still unfulfilled, but he isn’t acting like he is wanting to pursue more. Cas felt how desperate he was just moments ago. What changed?</p><p>“I don’t know what is appropriate here. Should I reciprocate?”</p><p>“Not right now. I’m just enjoying watching you bask in these good feelings.”</p><p>“So you don’t want sex anymore?”</p><p>“No, no, no. Don’t go getting any crazy ideas, Cas. I didn’t say I was done. I said that for the moment, I’m feeling happy that I helped you to feel this good, and I want to enjoy it.” He pauses to kiss the tip of Cas’s nose before teasing, “I’m a patient man, but it turns out that you are a very impatient angel.”</p><p>Cas sputters in indignation, but Dean rolls out of bed and wanders into the kitchen area. Cas is fascinated by him walking away, his beautiful ass bouncing. When he bends over to grab a bottle of water, Cas croaks out a pitiful sound. Dean glances over his shoulder with a wink.</p><p>“I knew you were a little pervy, Cas.”</p><p>“I’m not pervy. I just like to look at you.”</p><p>“You were staring at my ass like you wanted to take a bite. Totally pervy.” Dean crawls back into the narrow cot, arranging himself around the sprawling man. A few bumped elbows into foreheads and ribs aside, he slips into place quite nicely given the limited space. </p><p>“It’s a fantastic ass.” Cas admits and gives it a firm squeeze just to hear Dean squeak. When he also gasps, Cas takes advantage and plunders his mouth. The deep, wet kisses go on for dizzying minutes, escalating their need for each other back into the stratosphere.</p><p>“Cas,” Dean moans, rubbing his erection along the dip in his thigh. “I’ve never wanted anyone like this. I feel half crazy with it.”</p><p>“What do you want? What can I do?”</p><p>Dean realizes that he can’t ask Cas for anal sex at this point, but he’s almost desperate to feel Cas sink inside of him. He clenches his internal muscles in an effort to satisfy the urges, which only makes them worse. His angel’s hands seem to drift unerringly to the places that drive him mad. He is thumbing his cheeks apart, plumping them, and even running a finger down the crevice between them.</p><p>When the tip of his finger rubs delicately over his hole, Dean sucks in a surprised breath and huffs a curse. That touch feels a little too targeted to be an accident, so he makes eye contact to figure out what Cas is up to. There is a spark of electricity that shoots through them both at the desperation and desire arcing in the tiny amount of space between them.</p><p>“Will you let me, Dean? I want everything that you’re thinking about.”</p><p>Dean can’t find it in himself to say no. He should, but he wants it too much. He just nods and is leaning over the bed to reach his practically full bottle of lube, when Cas stops him. “I don’t need that.”</p><p>“You might not, but I definitely do.” The human sputters in response and takes Cas’s cock in his hand. “If you want to put this inside me, lube is necessary.</p><p>Cas grins and touches Dean’s forehead with two fingers. “I’m not suggesting that I do anything to hurt you, Dean. I’m telling you that I have a better solution.”</p><p>Immediately, Dean’s entire body feels like it’s fresh off the factory floor. He can’t feel any of the signs that he’s actively living in his body. His mouth isn’t dry; there’s no sweat on his body. It’s pristine, in never before used condition. “What did you…”</p><p>He trails off again when Cas kisses him. The kiss is chaste and simple, but it affects Dean like the filthiest and raunchiest of them. He squirms beneath Cas, who has rolled to lean over him and lift his legs around his hips. Dean moans to feel Cas line himself up along the crevice of his cheeks. “How-how do you?”</p><p>Cas pushes forward, breaching Dean’s miraculously softened and stretched opening. His eyes are burning with lust and confidence, and Dean has never seen anything sexier in his life. “I’ve watched your fantasies and dreams for months, Dean. I know what will please you.”</p><p>When he pushes forward, that confidence wavers. The compressing heat is marvelous, but it is the connection with Dean that takes his breath away. Part of his body is buried inside of Dean’s, and it makes his new heart hammer in his chest. </p><p>“Oh, Dean,” he whispers, dropping his head into his neck. </p><p>Dean is feeling the same way; he’s certain of it. There is reverence in his angel’s voice, and something significant is wrapping him up in its hold. He cradles Cas’s head to him, fingers ruffling through his hair.</p><p>“Dean, this is …”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Sacred.”</p><p>Dean smiles. “That’s a good way of putting it. It feels that way, doesn’t it?”</p><p>He encourages Cas to move while his hips begin to lift as a counterpoint. In a few dragging thrusts, their bodies are trembling, the tension ramping up faster than Dean can believe. Their eyes don’t break from each other, despite how close they are and how hard it is to focus at this distance. </p><p>“I love you, Cas,” Dean murmurs as they caress each other, hands and mouths joining in with worshipful purpose. </p><p>“I love you, my light.” </p><p>When their mouths connect this time, something changes. It is refreshing, renewing, and heavenly. Dean reaches to hold Cas tighter. Pure energy pours into his body, cascading out to his extremities with sparkling shivers. Feeling indestructible and full of life, he holds nothing back from Cas. His heart, mind, and body are in perfect concert with his angel, who is just as overcome. Dean can feel him. He can feel Cas in every cell of his own body. He is everywhere, permeating Dean’s existence. His presence is a solid reassurance, a precious gift.</p><p>Cas opens his eyes and looks down at Dean, whose eyes are swirling with blue grace. It shouldn’t be as surprising as it is. It makes sense that Cas’s grace would want Dean as much as he does. It is the very essence of his being. In response, he can feel the brilliance of Dean’s soul reaching for him. He is taken aback by the innocent yearning of something that is too beautiful for most beings to comprehend. How can this perfect creation want to be with him so desperately that it is willing to break free from its body? It is more than an honor; it is the ultimate fulfillment of an angel’s existence.</p><p>He welcomes Dean’s soul into him, awestruck by the sensations as his grace touches it for the first time. Dean tenses up, his back bowing at the same moment. His mouth drops open and broken sounds drift from his mouth.  Cas peeks behind the curtain of Dean’s mind to make sure that the foreign feelings aren’t too much for him. He only feels love and joy echoing back from him.</p><p>Taking Dean’s hand in his, he interlocks their fingers. The exchange of their life forces is flowing now like a tidal force, tangling together in Cas’s body and then flowing like a wave into Dean’s. The movements of their bodies are almost inconsequential, an afterthought now that they are connected at this elemental level. </p><p>“Cas!” Dean shouts as his body erupts in unexpected release. Cas continues the long strokes into his body, feeling the squeezing pulses around his erection milk him of his own release. As soon as Dean’s cock is spent, Cas grins. He knows something that Dean isn’t going to expect.</p><p>Dean can’t even process the emotions he’s experiencing. He’s exuberant, filled with absolute contentment. This isn’t ordinary sex. Even fantastic sex isn’t even on the same plane as whatever is happening between he and Castiel. He can tell that Cas is feeling it, whatever this magic is, because his eyes are filled with a golden fire. He’s gorgeous; utterly overflowing with power and strength. Dean can feel it sizzling in the air around them, can feel it pushing against his body. </p><p>Before he’s caught his breath from the most glorious orgasm he’s ever experienced, he feels the tell tale signs of an erection forming. He glances down at his body with confusion. Even in his teen years he had a refractory period of a few minutes.</p><p>He hears Cas chuckle. “Sex with an angel has its benefits, my love.”</p><p>“Is this normal?” he gasps.</p><p>“Having multiple orgasms?”</p><p>“No,” Dean shakes his head. That’s a great perk, but that isn’t what has truly captured his attention. He gestures between them. “This…magic. Is this always the way it is with angels?”</p><p>Cas shakes his head. “Only when the human shares their soul.”</p><p>Dean’s brow furrows. “How did I do that?” </p><p>“My grace embraced you, and your soul reached for me.”</p><p>“So, these incredible feelings are our soul and grace…”</p><p>“Intertwining.”</p><p>Dean blinks up in amazement at Cas as he processes the concept. They are linked together, as close as two beings have ever been. It’s everything he didn’t know he needed, and he suddenly has to kiss the breath from those lips and merge them in every possible way. Cas whimpers into the intensity.</p><p>Dean tries to roll them, but Cas feels that they’re about to land on the floor harshly. In anticipation, he flies them to a safe location. When Dean finds himself on his knees above Cas, he freezes. They aren’t in the cabin anymore. In fact, they aren’t in Louisiana at all. They’re in Kansas. More specifically, they’re in Dean’s bedroom in his house.</p><p>“How the hell did we get here, Cas?”</p><p>“I flew us here. We were about to land on the floor, and I don’t want either of us to be injured.”</p><p>“How do you know where I live?” </p><p>“You’ve thought about this house many times, Dean. You told me all about it, remember?”</p><p>Dean smiles down at him. “You’re a freaking miracle, Cas.”</p><p>“You’re just saying that because I saved you from another fall on your face during sex,” Cas teases. Dean throws his head back to laugh, which makes his soul blossom and expand even while it is still mingled with Cas’s, and it spreads between both of their bodies. Cas can’t help but join in his mirth.</p><p>When Dean sits back, his laughter shifts to a moan.  With all of the epiphanies and distractions of the past few minutes, he had almost forgotten that Cas was still seated inside of him. With the sudden motion, he is reminded. His body shivers at the feeling of being impaled on the thick cock. Cas sits up and props himself on his hands behind him. Their mouths meet once more, thirsty for the taste of each other. </p><p>Every time they orgasm, their bodies recharge in an instant and they continue their explorations. Over the course of several hours, they have had each other in almost every conceivable way. Whenever Dean tires, Cas’s grace rejuvenates him. Whenever they sweat, it is cleaned away. They don’t even feel sore, despite the friction and rough handling that they’ve both dished out and received. </p><p>“Is this how I’m going to die, Cas?” Dean asks cheekily, while Cas is practicing a very enthusiastic blow job.</p><p>“What?” he pulls off with an obscene slurp. </p><p>“Are we just going to have sex until I die?”</p><p>A cheeky grin is his response. “Would that be a bad thing?”</p><p>“Not at all. I just want to make sure that I understand our itinerary.”</p><p>Cas uses his long tongue to lick up from the base of his cock, rendering his bratty love silent.</p><p>“As long as your soul is entwined with my grace, we will never run out of sexual energy.”</p><p>“So, if either of us lets go…”</p><p>“Yes, this part of it will end.”</p><p>Dean reaches down to touch his fingertips to Cas’s cheek. “Can we do this again?”</p><p>“Of course, my love. Whenever we want, as long as your soul is willing.”</p><p>Dean searches Cas’s face and then calls him up to his arms. They kiss gently and nuzzle into each other’s soft spaces. “I’m afraid that when I’m not being fueled by your angelic battery anymore that my very human body is going to be hurting. We should probably exercise a bit of caution until we understand this better.”</p><p>Cas agrees with a solemn nod. He brushes his lips against Dean’s, slowly, carefully withdrawing his grace. There is a sadness filling him as the grace curls into his body alone. Emptiness that makes his bones feel brittle. </p><p>In his arms, he can feel Dean trembling. The last of his grace returns, and he draws away to see tears rolling down Dean’s cheeks. Shock widens his eyes, but before he can ask what is wrong, Dean is sobbing. The sounds are gut-wrenching to him.</p><p>“Dean?”</p><p>Dean shakes his head violently, banging the heel of his hand into his temple. When he speaks, “No” is the only sound, and it is on repeat.</p><p>“Tell me what’s wrong, Dean.” </p><p>Cas feels him draw away and curl in on himself. His hands go to his chest, and with alarming ferocity, he starts digging into his skin. Long ribbons of blood well up from the wounds.</p><p>“No, it’s wrong, Cas. It’s so wrong. I can’t feel it. I can’t live without it.”</p><p>“Dean, stop!” Cas is frantically trying to grab Dean’s hands and hold them away so he can’t do himself any more harm. </p><p>“Cas, please! I can’t.” Dean is completely out of control, twisting and writhing and screaming for his help. Cas feels more helpless now than he ever did inside that stone prison.</p><p>“What do you need?”</p><p>“You! Please, Cas. Give it back!” </p><p>He would and will give Dean whatever he wants. He will give him everything, without hesitation. “Be still!” he commands, and Dean freezes even though he’s sweating and flushed. </p><p>Brushing their lips together, Cas pushes a bit of his grace back into the man in his arms. The isolation he felt disappears as soon as he breathes back in. A little of Dean’s soul fights its way back to him, clinging to his grace. Dean sighs in his embrace, the fight going out of him immediately.</p><p>Cas sags in relief, though filled with confusion. He’s never heard of a situation like this before. Even in the rare occurrences throughout time when angels and humans have been together, there has never been a documented case of a human soul wanting to stay with the angel’s grace. </p><p>Cas peeks into Dean’s mind again, just to be sure that he is no longer suffering. “Are you okay, Dean?”</p><p>“I’m better now. I don’t know what came over me.” He sounds embarrassed, and Cas will not stand for that. </p><p>“This isn’t your fault. Your soul was calling out. You didn’t have control over that.”</p><p>“How did you fix it?” Dean wipes the drying tears from his skin harshly.</p><p>“I gave you part of my grace, and your soul returned the favor.”</p><p>“I have it in me?” Dean drops a hand to his chest and immediately raises is again with a hiss. The raw wounds are agonizing to touch. He still can’t believe that he did this to himself. He’s never felt that kind of raw desperation before. </p><p>Without warning, Cas’s hand comes down on his chest. He braces himself for the pain, but it doesn’t come. Instead, his hand glows blue and the throbbing pain of his ripped skin ceases.</p><p>When his hand draws back, Dean’s skin is completely healed. Dean looks up in awe. “Thank you,” he manages weakly. </p><p>“How are you feeling now?” Cas asks.</p><p>“So much better. I’m tired, though. I feel like I’ve run a marathon.”</p><p>“I imagine,” Cas smirks at him and pulls the blankets over them both. “You were doing some extremely vigorous exercise for many hours. You need to rest.”</p><p>Dean yawns. “I’m not going to argue with that.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The sleepy scent of Dean is his favorite perfume, even with the not so fresh morning breath added into the mix. He wants to do something nice for Dean, maybe make sustenance for him. He pads down the hall into the kitchen and tries to remember how he had watched Dean cook. The gaps in his knowledge are too big of a hurdle, he realizes with a frown. He can fly to any place in the world, though. </p><p>He puts clothing on his body with a thought, cleaning and grooming himself back to immaculate. He remembers at the last second that he needs to bring something to pay for the food. Modern humans have come so far. They hadn’t even figured out bartering when he was last aware of them.</p><p>Dean had explained the complex banking systems to the best of his ability when they were first getting to know each other, but Cas hadn’t thought about them since. He flies back to the cabin, pulls Dean’s wallet out of his pants’ pocket, and takes out the shiny plastic card. In a breath, he is in New Orleans. Dean had raved about a little bakery in the Quarter, so Cas seeks it out, a smile on his face at doing something entirely for his Dean. Inside, the sweet smells welcome him. </p><p>Dean wakes to the flap of enormous wings and the breeze that they stir. He can’t help his lips quirking into a smile. His angel is here. Of course, he thought he was here already, so he peeks his eyes open to check in. Cas is standing by the door with an enormous plate of pastries in his hands.</p><p>“Hey, sweetheart. Where’d you go?”</p><p>Cas gives him a secretive look. “It was supposed to be a surprise for you. I guess now it’s just breakfast for you.”</p><p>Dean furrows his brow. “I didn’t mean to ruin the surprise. That was really sweet of you.”</p><p>“It’s fine. I went to that bakery you told me about. I didn’t remember what you liked there, so I got one of every pastry.”</p><p>Dean laughs. “You might have overestimated even my appetite, Cas.”</p><p>Cas sits the plate on Dean’s nightstand and hands him a cup of chicory coffee. “You are a saint.”</p><p>He waits until Dean has taken a long, fortifying sip of the coffee before he speaks again.</p><p>“There are some things we need to discuss.”</p><p>Dean flicks his eyes up over the lid. “That sounds ominous.” </p><p>“Well, everything has happened incredibly fast over the past few days. I think we need to go over what’s happened and figure out where we go from here.”</p><p>Dean swallows and sets the cup down. “Are you done with me?”</p><p>“Never! Don’t be ridiculous.” Cas looks as offended as he sounds, which allows Dean to continue breathing. That was the worst case scenario that he could think of. Everything else is manageable. </p><p>“Okay, then what are you talking about, exactly?” He picks up the warm cup and takes another sip.</p><p>“I never thanked you for rescuing me.”</p><p>“Oh. You’re welcome.”</p><p>Cas rolls his eyes. “Don’t be snide. Your idea was brilliant. I am quite impressed by your compassion and ingenuity.”</p><p>“I’m not quite sure what to say to that.”</p><p>“It’s one of the many reasons that I’ve decided to give you the secret to angelic flight.”</p><p>“Can - Can you do that?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Dean licks his lips. “Are you sure that’s wise, Cas?”</p><p>“Why wouldn’t it be? I love you to the very depths of my being, Dean. Why is sharing this secret more than giving you my heart?”</p><p>“You are a sappy romantic, aren’t you, angel?”</p><p>“Stop deflecting with humor. These are important topics.”</p><p>Dean holds up placating hands and laughs. “Okay, Cas. I’ll take it more seriously.”</p><p>Cas sniffs and considers him for another moment. “The fact that you question whether or not my gift is a reasonable one is the reason that I trust you to know when humanity is ready for this knowledge, Dean. You are a righteous, honorable man in a world of greed and deception. I believe that you will do what is right for everyone.”</p><p>Sincerity and earnestness shines back at Cas. “You’re putting a lot of faith in me, Cas.”</p><p>“Yes, but it is well deserved.”</p><p>Dean wants to argue. Cas can see the fidgeting in his body, but he fights through it and simply nods.</p><p>Cas touches Dean’s head again, and in a few moments, he’s shared scientific principles and laws that it will take humanity another 300 years to figure out on their own. Comprehension dawns on Dean’s face as he processes the enormous download of information. </p><p>“Cas, this is amazing!!” He rolls out of bed and rushes to his small architect’s desk. Grabbing a legal pad and a pen, he starts jotting down ideas for how to adapt this knowledge so that it is usable by humankind. “It’s so elegant and simple.”</p><p>As Dean makes notes, he stops and asks Cas questions when he runs into a potential problem. After an hour of scribbling maniacally, Cas takes one of the pastries and forces a corner of it into Dean’s mouth. He bites absently, until the flavor hits his taste buds. He stops momentarily and lets Cas feed him another bite. They go on this way for hours. </p><p>When the pastries are gone, Dean requests barbecue, so Cas flies to Dripping Springs, Texas, to get the world’s best for him.</p><p>Dean has already set his notes aside when Cas appears. “I think I smelled that before I heard your wings.”</p><p>“So now I know how to get your attention. I just need to slather myself in brisket.”</p><p>Dean laughs and pulls Cas in for a kiss. “Don’t combine my two favorite things, sweetheart. My brain might melt.”</p><p>Cas huffs at the cheesy line, but lets Dean cozy up to him anyway. Dean kisses down the column of his neck, letting his hands roam over his back.  “You don’t ever need help getting my attention, though. It’s yours, every minute of every day.”</p><p>“You’re quite the flirt when you’re hungry.”</p><p>“You like when I flirt with you.”</p><p>“True. Come downstairs and eat. I’m not getting in that bed with you later if there’s barbecue sauce on it.”</p><p>“Can’t you just clean it with your mojo thing?” Dean asks as he follows the delicious smells downstairs. His mouth is watering.</p><p>“No, it is a waste of grace.”</p><p>“Wait, does that hurt you when you do those things for me?”</p><p>“No, Dean. There are just some things that should be done the regular way.”</p><p>“Isn’t that the regular way for you?” </p><p>Cas drops the bag on the table and rounds on Dean. “What is going on with you?”</p><p>Dean gnaws on the corner of his lip while he unpacks the bag. He sits and gestures for Cas to do the same. </p><p>“I had a breakthrough while you were gone. I think I can make a permanent structure for humans to travel through.”</p><p>There is tentative pride in Dean’s eyes that grows when Cas praises him. “That’s marvelous. Wow. That was much faster than I anticipated.”</p><p>His face heats, which is adorable to Cas. His brilliant engineer has figured out a way to turn highly advanced physics into a physical device in less than a day. </p><p>“So, now that you have a plan to design, what are you going to do with this information?”</p><p>Dean distractedly moans when he takes a bite from one of the beef ribs, but answers as soon as he swallows. “I want to patent it so that no one can try to steal it and use it for their own profit. Then, I want to make it available to all countries equally. They will have to come through me for the knowledge, but I don’t want there to be any excessive profit from it.</p><p>“See, I knew you were the right person to manage this discovery.” Cas beams.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>They ultimately decide to start a new lab, rather than deal with intellectual property issues at either  Kansas University or at Dean’s family’s company. </p><p>It’s only a few days into their new venture when Cas can feel Dean thinking about his brother, Sam more frequently. He doesn’t mention it because Dean doesn’t, but Cas is compelled to fix whatever is bothering him. </p><p>When Dean has a bad electrical accident in the lab, one that would have been fatal if Cas hadn’t been there to heal him immediately, he finally opens up about his brother. That night, after he has let Cas fuss over him for hours, his melancholy returns. </p><p>“Cas, would you be willing to meet my brother?”</p><p>“Of course, Dean. I would be happy to meet anyone important in your life.” Dean gives him a shy smile. </p><p>“Wait. Have you avoided people because you thought I wouldn’t want to get to know them?”</p><p>“Well, you’re an angel, Cas. You can’t be that excited about hanging around a bunch of simple humans.” His words sound unaffected, but Cas can read Dean much better than he realizes. His hands are wringing the blanket that he has clenched in them.</p><p>Cas sits on the bed next to him and takes the hand closest to him. “Dean, I love you and I plan to be part of your life. I don’t want to take you away from your friends and family. I know how much they mean to you. Well, except your father. I might smite him on sight. We should probably keep him at a distance for now.”</p><p>Dean laughs, even though he’s fairly certain that Cas is serious. Cas squeezes his hand. “I was hoping that you would want me to fit in with them, to make a life with you.”</p><p>“Is that really what you want?” Dean sounds incredulous.</p><p>“Yes, Dean. I want to be by your side for everything.”</p><p>“Don’t you have some higher purpose that you’re supposed to be following up in heaven?”</p><p>Cas cups his jaw with a feathery brush of his thumb across his lips. “There is no higher purpose than you, my love.”</p><p>“They gave you a free pass because you spent most of time locked in stone, didn’t they?”</p><p>With a toothy grin, Cas admits, “Yeah, pretty much.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Dean isn’t afraid of the crowd of reporters gathered from news agencies all over the globe. He isn’t worried about what he’ll say to them. He isn’t concerned at all if they’ll believe the shocking revelation he’s here to deliver. The only thing that he’s fretting over is how this moment is going to change their lives. One thing he is sure of is that they will never be able to be anonymous again. They are going to completely change the transportation industry overnight. </p><p>He is going to single-handedly bankrupt the airline industry. He’s honestly not terribly upset about that one. Planes have always freaked him out, not that he’d ever admit to it. He is a propulsion engineer after all. </p><p>His invention, and the governing body that he will handpick to oversee its implementation, will make the world a much smaller, better connected place. This discovery will spark decades of amazing innovations in science and technology. He’s proud to be the one to bring it to humanity, and even prouder that he is giving it away for all to use. </p><p>It might be the true happiness he feels with Cas that makes him so ridiculously hopeful. He hopes that his species will follow his example and do what is right rather than what is profitable. Perhaps there will be a domino effect of kindness that will topple one selfish company after another. What a world that would be to live in. </p><p>When he thought about what this press conference would be like, the only thing that truly mattered to him was that Benny and Sam were here to witness it. Well, that and that Cas would be standing at the podium with him. </p><p>“Are you ready to shake up the world, angel?” Dean kisses his temple. </p><p>“I can’t wait.”</p>
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